Go on a Date
Despite the difficulties of trusting and paying a babysitter, it is always worth it to get a few hours together away from your child. The earlier this starts, the better. It is also true though, that the difficulty in managing this only gets worse as your child gets older–both because your child is fun to be with and has limited verbalization skills that you can interpret and other people can’t. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like no one can care for your child except you.
However, one-on-one time is vital to a marriage. In the long run, your child will be better off for the strength of your relationship than a lack of short-term substitute parenting. Try hitting up friends and family first and keep your dates short. If your toddler already goes to daycare, try sneaking a half hour away for a quick cup of coffee together.
If you plan a movie night, make sure you also leave ample time for talking to one another. When your children one day leaves the nest, you’ll be glad you still recognize your partner because you’ve spent plenty of time just the two of you.
Neutral Ground
If alone time just isn’t an option, try to choose family outings that are not so kid-friendly as to be adult-nauseating. Community parks are great places to have a family picnic where your toddler can run off energy while you supervise and you still get a marginal bit of distance to talk to your spouse. Toddlers are easily amazed and most places seem magical to them whether they are child-centered or not. Zoos, museums, public swimming pools and even window shopping can all offer enough distraction to your child that you can watch her and enjoy your spouse’s company at the same time.
Chores
Kids get a bad rap for sapping their parents of energy. But let’s be honest, we’re usually more than willing to offer the extra effort to make our children happy. What really drains us of all motivation is seeing all the chores that have piled up while we’ve been loving on our little ones. If it’s a challenge to get romantic after a day of potty training and tantrum management, it’s infinitely worse if it has to be followed with an hour of scouring dishes, sweeping floors and swapping laundry. There are two potential solutions to this problem. This first is to ignore the chores for a day or so. This can, however, cause more anxiety than relief.
If that’s true for you, your option is to make every effort to cram your extra moments during the day with a half a chore here and there. Stick a tiny broom in your toddler’s hands and give the kitchen floor a quick once over with the mop, throw in a load of laundry between nap time and snack time, and stick the dishes in the machine as you use them.
While these can be tough habits to build, you and your spouse will feel the accumulation of your efforts and you will both feel relieved when the only chore left at the end of the day is enjoying each other.
Take Advantage of Bed Time
If you’re like most parents, by the time you’ve put the little ones to bed in the evening, you barely have enough gumption left to fall into the recliner with your e-reader for thirty minutes or so. This can be sacred time for your marriage though. Try pouring a couple glasses of wine and listening to some music together.
Sit on the porch and hold hands. You’ll be amazed at how far away parenting can seem when you simply step out of the room where the explosion of toys lives and enter a tiny grown-up sanctuary. Even if this special time ends with you both nodding off in your chairs, it can still be a great show of affection that will keep you feeling warm and fuzzy the next day.
Byran Smith is the Social Media Coordinator at MyLife.com, an online searching tool designed to help you re-conect with long-lost friends, ex-lovers, childhood friends or coworkers, so you can rekindle the friendships that you have made over time. Access the MyLife area code directory or search by zip codes at MyLife to reconnect today.
Byran Smith is the Social Media Coordinator at MyLife.com is an online searching tool designed to help you re-connect with long-lost friends, ex-lovers, childhood friends or coworkers, so you can rekindle the friendships that you have made over time. Search by area code database at MyLife or zip code database at MyLife.