Yesterday, we wrote about how Goldman Sachs argued in Court that “Vice-President” is a “courtesy title” it gives to about a third of its employees. Since it must be hard to come up with names to differentiate all of those vice-presidents, here are some more we suggest:
1. Vice-President Of Coming Up With Different Titles For Vice-Presidents. Hey, we’re only going to suggest 3 more titles on this blog.* Someone else who gets paid by the company can suggest the other 10,000+!
2. Vice-President Of Assembling Cute Bears With “Goldman Sachs” T-Shirts At Build-A-Bear Workshop. Someone has to help lessen the impact of the “Vampire Squid” mascot image of Goldman Sachs painted by Rolling Stone.
3. Vice-President of Making Sure Vampire Squids Hidden In Aquarium Of Basement Headquarters Are Entertained And Do Not Head Out In The Real World. Who knew they were big fans of the complete box set of Matt LeBlanc’s spin-off Joey? Hey, you don’t think that show lasted so long without the help of some influence of evil vampire squids, did you?
*today at least. No guarantee that we won’t milk this for another 3,000 days.