As we continue our week of writing entries inspired by our readers, we move on to our next entry we found in our WordPress Reader entitled “Half a letter for a finger… Confusing title, eh?” This witty entry about the illogical use of letters and numbers in ring sizes was written by a funny blogger named Felix of GrumpyComments.com. Specifically, a jewelery store employee recently told him he was probably a size “Q and a half,” which does seem like a bizarre sizing system.
Still, jewelers around the world could have conceived worse sizing nomenclature, including the 3 following sizes, that would probably lead to more confusion and frustration than when this brain surgeon we previously wrote about buried his prospective wife’s engagement ring in the sand on a beach and asked her to find it… but you need not search in the sand to find our 3 worse possible ring sizes… here they are:
1. Half Of A “Q”. Which half is it? The top or the bottom? The left or the right? If it’s the top that’s really going to make things confusing when trying to compare the ring’s fit to sizes “top-half-of-a-zero” and “top-half-of-the-letter ‘O’”, which will all look the same. We suspect this is why Belgians, Swedes, and Mötley Crüe put umlauts at the top of every letter “O” to avoid such confusion! We’re not talking about the confusion that results from fictional ring sizes, but rather than confusion that results from knowing whether to type a letter “O” or a “zero” when you fill in the often-hard-to-read reCAPTCHA code on Ticketmaster’s web site, to try to prove you are human to try to buy Mötley Crüe tickets.
2. The symbol for Prince. If someone tries to sell you something in this size, run away from the store immediately, as it’s likely to be very expensive. Further, as Prince has not aged since 1985, this may be one of those rings eternally youthful vampires wear, meaning it’s probably stolen, and you do not want Robert Pattinson showing up at your door demanding that you give it back!
The only thing more confusing than the symbol for Prince is a grainy photo that could be the symbol for Prince, or could be a symbol to summons vampires.
3. The blank space from Scrabble. This sounds like some size the local Lululemon in-store yoga instructor would explain is “any size you want it to be.” Not very helpful information, but hopefully you’re not buying an engagement ring in this size, because just like in Scrabble, you will get “no points” for trying to use it. Seems nobody wants to make lifelong commitments after receiving a ring adorned by a small, blank square of wood. Especially if you are asking to marry the superficial, drama-Queen known as the letter “Q” who has become accustomed to a high 10-point lifestyle where her Upstairs Maid, the letter “U” follows her around the upper floors of her family’s mansion, helping her get all the triple-word scores.