2015 Golden Globes: The Worst

Hello, and welcome back to my own personal version of E's Fashion Police (I want on that show, how do I get on that show?)! When we last spoke, I was bringing you the most gorgeous looks from the red carpet, but these are just ...not. As I mentioned previously, there was so much early 2000s prom going on. I don't want to relive that time, thanks very much!
We'll jump right in... WHAT IS THIS. I said I liked a well-fitting pantsuit on a woman, but this is just beyond hideous. And those shoes! No. no. no. no. NO. Rosamund Pike, you're gorgeous. But this is like a sheet with interesting cutouts held up by some household twine. NO. It's so ill-fitting and is completely unflattering. What were you thinking? Kerry is usually on my "what? no" list and this year is no exception. I maybe could have handled it if it went to the floor. But this weird too-long-to-be-tea-length? Not feeling it. And it's too shiny. Ok. I know she's pregnant. And I love Kiera Knightly. And somehow she makes the collar of this dress work. But the rest of it....oh hell no. And why are there birds? Ugh. Sigh. This is a sheet. Not a dress.  NO. Just no. Pastels I can handle, but this cut. The material. The lack of any sort of embellishment. Snooooooze. TINA WHAT IS THIS. I like that it has pockets. But that's about it. Why is it so poofy? Why is it so short? Why? Now don't get me wrong. Melissa McCarthy looks GREAT. And she's one of the funniest people ever. But this dress? Girl. No. What is that bow? What is that top? I have so many questions. Red Bull gives you wings? I just don't get Lena Dunham. And as far as her past red carpet forays go, this isn't that bad. But it's still by no means good.  This is a bridesmaids dress. And not even a very nice one. Not something you wear on the red carpet. Bleh. If I were still 4 and in my Little Mermaid phase, I think I'd love this. Ok. Now. This dress didn't immediately scream awful to me. But see all that piping? It's all unfinished. As one of the gentleman watching with me asked "Is that dress inside out?" Another tea-length disaster that resulted in another gem from the peanut gallery "Her breastplate is moving but she isn't!" Ahhhh. This color is just all kinds of awful for Guiliana. And can we just move past this silhouette? Please? PLEASE?