New years resolutions annoy me. Not just due to the re-occurring resolutions the general public tend to follow, but because i never stick to mine. Losing weight seems to be one that i never stop hearing about. Personally, i couldn't give a toss what i weigh. My love for sugary sweets and regular raids of the kitchen cupboard often results in me eating rice pudding out of the tin. For that reason, i will always be in at least size 12/14 jeans (incredibly hard to find with a leg length that'll fit my small 5 ft 3/4 height). To stop swearing as much is another i often hear. Well, i'm 18 with a bit of a um... passionate nature. I swear a lot, a long string of them when my tempers roused, accompanied by a thick Yorkshire accent. It comes back from my childhood when my mood is tempestuous.There have been many people who have encountered a 5ft 3 goth in big boots ranting loudly and uncouthly. On account of a new year, to those people reading this who may have endured me in such a mood, i apologize. On reviewing events in 2012, and my life goals, i have devised not resolutions (the word holds no power for me) or goals (i associate the word with football which i loath) but a determination to kick my dreams up the arse and get moving. To do this i'm:
1) Actually reading that dusty list of books i created a long time ago.
2) Finishing the book iv been writing for 2 years, and working on the ideas that are nagging at me.
3) Tidying up the poetry scrawled in my notebooks and do something about it, instead of dreaming.
4) Be less tempestuous in my moods and productiveness. Sometimes i resemble a lethargic bat in my cave-like bedroom and sometimes i never stop.
5) Not take out one's tempestuous moods on one's boyfriend (poor man)
6) Independence! (this includes searching even harder for that job, in order to find my own home)
7) I want to travel. I'm not talking around the world in 80 days, i have uni to concentrate on, but i adore culture. I want to dance in it, breath it in, bathe in it, smoke it. Whatever. I haven't even begun living yet.
8) Well my education is pretty important. I'm not a brain box academic type but this course gives me the keys to open doors iv been dreaming of for years.
9) It took me till the end of 2012 to realize what makes me happy, and what fuels my poetry is the littlest things. A fresh notebook, a full moon in an inky winters sky, a solitary amber leaf on a veiny black tree, the sound of the rain, a loved ones laugh, a cluster of blue forget-me-nots on the edge of a field, a much anticipated hug/kiss, a good book and lots more. That's the beauty of it. The number of little things are impossible to count. And whats more beautiful about them is i can paint them into words, and keep them tightly in a notebook so i can remember and they can make me happy again.
I hope you readers find whatever you're looking for, or are truly happy with what you have. I really don't think its too late. Take the path you didn't walk.
Happy New Year.
:)