Across Europe there is a lot of brouhaha about the European Union and whether or not it is any good. On one side you have those of Guardian disposition saying that the EU is a blessed old thing that has improved the continent tenfold and that we should be very grateful for all it has done. Then, in the other corner we have the Eurosceptics, those who think that the massive omni-country that it wants to become is a flawed concept and that endless bureaucracy and red tape is destroying the very fabric of our own nations.
In Britain, many of us are Eurosceptical. We want to cherry-pick what bits and pieces of legislation that suit us, and discard the rest. This makes Angela Merkel very cross indeed, but ultimately, we don’t give a shit. We want what’s best for us. And who doesn’t?
We find the defendant, Martin Fullard, guilty of looking for justice. You are hereby sentenced to life living in Europe…
Of course the EU does have a few positives. It makes hopping borders very easy indeed, why, you don’t even need a passport to enter neighbouring countries so that makes monitoring terrorists far easier. Of course trade is much better these days too, and that means Britain can import Renaults and shoes for far less a cost than before. The idea of a one-size-fits-all currency was a lovely one, until it all went horribly wrong when the small economies, like Greece, realised they had spent money they didn’t have.
But, as with everything in this day and age, it’s the negatives that cause the most chatter. A while back, the EU thought it would be a good idea to invent something called the “European Court of Human Rights” and that it would ensure justice and fairness for all. It was a nice idea, but like most things European, it was unrealistic. It didn’t take into account that there would be some meanies who would abuse the system for their own benefit. I want to make it plain that I accept and acknowledge that ECHR has done lots of good work, but sadly it lets itself get exploited too easily.
This is why there is a bearded man called Abu Qatada livening in a £350,000 rented house, paid for by British taxpayer money. Now, in case you don’t know, Mr. Qatada isn’t very fond of Britain, or France, or Venezuela, or America, or basically anywhere. He is what the British press refer to as a “hate preacher.” This means he walks around town shouting at things that he dislikes, whether it be bus stops, Toyota Camry’s, churches, JD Sports…he is not very easily pleased to say the least.
He has been very mean to those who live in the West also, calling us all horrible names and so on. He really, really hates us all. And that’s a shame since we have done so much for the poor git. Anyway, for a while now, our Home Secretary, Theresa May, has been trying to get rid of him. We started by knocking on his door and offering him some money to leave, but he slammed the door shut and said “no” quite abruptly. He spent a bit of time in jail for his disdain of Toyota Camry’s and Adidas trainers, and then the government pursued a case to deport him back to his native Jordan.
But this is where the ECHR got involved. Mr. Qatada launched an appeal against his deportation because he was worried that the Jordanian government would torture him for information pertaining to other hate preachers, it was, as far as he was concerned, a violation of his human rights.
The ECHR agreed with him and told Britain that it wouldn’t be fair to send the poor old man home. Never mind that he swore death to us all, the ECHR said we were being mean. So, the government appealed the appeal. And it was voted through that, actually, we could get rid of him if the Jordanians promised that they wouldn’t torture him for information. They obliged – with their fingers crossed – but Mr. Qatada refused. So, he appealed the appeal of the original appeal which, bizarrely, he won. So now he is being housed in plush semi-detached property on the taxpayer’s account, whilst Theresa May appeals the appeal of the appeal of the original appeal.
If you are not from Europe, Britain, or anywhere remotely near, then you must be thinking that this is a load of nonsense, and that I have made it all up. Check it out and see for yourselves. I look at it as revenge by the EU against Britain because they don’t like the fact that we waltz into Brussels HQ, choose what legislation we like the best, leave the sprouts and gristle, and walk out again. But what do I know? I’m just an aspiring writer who still believes in the Easter Bunny.
This is what I like about the UAE. Yeah sure, sometimes the legal system over here makes your jaw hit the flaw, but really, I am truly envious of their national security policies. Not even that, if you don’t play by the rules over here, you’re out. It’s that simple. No appealing the appeal, no questions.
The other week, an Egyptian delegation visited the UAE and asked the government if they would release 12 or so members of the Muslim Brotherhood who admitted to conspiring to disrupt national security. The UAE told them to get stuffed. Get stupidly drunk and vomit in the back of a taxi here and it is prison for a short while then an economy seat on the next Etihad flight back to homesville. No debate, you get on the plane.
The Emiratis are looked after so well, too. Two weeks ago the president ordered the release of all Emiratis who were currently serving prison terms for check bouncing. Just like that, 300 or so locals were out. Ok, the expatriates stayed there inside, but at least there will be more space now. Another Emirati got injured abroad last week, so the government sent a private plane to go and get him. Can you imagine Angela Merkel doing that?
I love the fact that the bureaucracy here is saved for more trivial matters, if it wasn’t that way then UAE Uncut wouldn’t have lasted five minutes. Instead we have rambled on for 118 topics moaning about this and that. But when it comes to the big stuff, like national security and putting its own people first, then the UAE is world leading.
Only right now is there a letter floating around social media highlighting how illegal immigrants in Britain receive nearly four times as much money in benefits as the elderly do from their pensions. The elderly have paid their tax and national insurance every month of their lives and in some cases fought for their country on the battlefield, and for what? To fund the home and lifestyle of the very type of character they fought against. Why did they bother and what must they think now?
No such qualms here in the Emirates, if anyone came out preaching hate against them, they’d be swooped on quicker than a 1970’s BBC presenter…