10 things I learned in 20161. To give agape love freely to those in need of it, but not trust. Trust should be earned; over and over again.2. The energies around you matter. If I hadn’t put too much thought in that belief, 2016 taught me that it’s a solid belief. If you spend enough time around someone who is full of self-pity, for instance, it’ll seep into your being and you’ll catch yourself self-pitying more than you ever did. 3. The people whom you should hold dear to you; whom you should regard as your safe place and be willing to be theirs are not those who shower you with gifts, just because, nor those that smile whenever they see you and layer on the compliments, but those who offer you a shoulder when your whole world seems to be crashing; when maybe you’ve suffered a major loss or experienced trauma due to violence or been diagnosed with an unexpected illness. Those who remain; not to gloat, but to offer a genuine shoulder. Those are your safe places, your true friends and as with everything in life reciprocity keeps the safety bond tight. 4. There are many things you can let a person do to you; guilting you is not one of the things you should allow. Guilt will break you. It will lower your inhibitions and make you do things you’d rather not do. 5. Be attentive to subtle put downs, they can subtly erode your self-esteem if you’re not attentive enough to acknowledge they could be self-esteem issues of the other person. Just like projection which is likened to a mirror, put downs and even advice sometimes could be about the person giving them and not you. Do not take things personally.6. I’ve always placed more value on a smooth sailing relationship; friends, family, workplace, than on my ego. Hence, I’m usually first to try to figure out how to keep a ship smooth sailing even if it means extending a courteous apology. But, peace of mind is more important than ego and seemingly smooth sailing relationships.7. There are many things you’re told not to do, but until you have done them you will not ever be able to fully imagine and comprehend why. But beware, you'll never be the same so derail at your own risk.8. Sometimes, someone with a lot of potential will not get past all the crap weighing him down. Trying to help him get past all of that crap so that everyone can benefit from his potential may cost you your sanity. Refer him to a therapist, it’s not your calling; neither are you professionally qualified to fix him unless you really have the certs.9. It’s easier to accord a person some level of trust when you first get to know them than after you’ve known them and they break your trust. Remain trustworthy.
10. Some people deceive themselves and think they deceive others.You see a person who seem to boast impressive attributes and you hope they’d make a good mentor. They see you and they want to get physical with you. Subtly they offer you wealth. You work hard to make yourself appear a suitable mentee so you have a chance when you ask and they think you work for the gold. They deceive themselves. Never flatter yourself to think someone does something for the chips you laid out. We each have our individual goals.