Life as we know it is full of surprises and each surprise is like a gift we unravel one at a time. There are so many times you must have realized and noted things that you would tell your younger self had time travel been possible. When I was pregnant with my daughter, there were way too many things going through my mind, and mostly apprehensions. I wanted to list 10 things a pregnant woman should know and hence this article.
Let’s get straight to the list of things I would tell that apprehensive 28 year old myself to let go –
You will get through it
The biggest reason to have an offspring was and should be to feel the pride of shaping a human being. If that is the reason you want a progeny, you are on the right track already. So, there is no point worrying and fretting about how I will raise my child, will I change the diaper well, and so on. YOU WILL GET THROUGH – period!
Babies are tough
You know what my biggest worry was when I was pregnant, it was whether I will be a perfect mom. But, I now would advise you to wonder whether you will be blessed with a perfect baby. Who is a perfect baby? (I mean perfect not pretty) It is the one who sleeps per sleeping cycle, feeds per feeding cycle, poops per pooping cycle. Does anyone have such a baby? No! Babies are the best taskmaster. They will make sure that the work is not just done, but in the most perfect way possible.
Your Partner will help
I had this apprehension all the time. Will my husband help me change the diaper? Traditionally, with Indian families, you always have some elder to help you out for some time. But, after that it is the chemistry between you and your partner that will help you sail through. My husband is the laziest of the lot that god sent through, but if he stood by me as a rock, I am sure yours will too.
Don’t listen to range of advice
This happens so much when you are pregnant. Don’t eat papaya, don’t eat meat, and don’t eat eggs, and so on. I did all 3 in moderation and delivered a perfectly healthy baby, and I sometimes wonder if the eggs were responsible for her hyperactivity now. Ask your doctor. By asking, not just a yes or no question, but the logics behind not eating it or not doing something. Be selective in what advice you take.
What to do books seldom help
Stop reading now and rest. Enjoy your independence and freedom before your child arrives. No amount of reading that I did then could have prepared me for what was to enter my life. Raising my daughter has been a complete hands-on experience and I am relishing every minute.
Dreaded first 3 months are true
The first 3 months of your new born are the toughest not just for her, but way tougher for the parents. No wonder it is tagged as the fourth trimester! No matter how much I tell you now, you will only realize it when it happens. You will understand what are sleepless nights, hurting breasts, multiple nappy changes, and gazillion skin rashes each leaving you running to the doctor.
Trust your mom or his too
So, I am a 20th century girl. I believe I know it all. We all believe that and hence I decided to exclusively trust the books and ignore the advices given by the moms. Please listen to them. They have years of experience to offer.
It is ok to partially breastfeed
Get over the guilt! Not being able to breastfeed till your child feels full is the worst feeling ever. When my daughter was still hungry even after marathon sessions of breastfeeding, I knew something had to be done. This realization was not until after good 20 days of her birth. Till then I was a hormonal monster barking at everyone in sight. Since then she has been partially breastfed and formula-fed. This combination worked for me. If you need to formula-feed completely, there is nothing to be ashamed of there.
Your body will change
I admit that I am no longer the slim and thin 27 year old that I was. My body has changed and accepting this change will not happen in a flash. When you see your toddler happy and prancing around, every glistening stretch mark on your body will justify it.
All the above won’t matter when you see her!
No matter how hard you try to not be ashamed, worried, sad, apprehensive, these emotions will all melt away, when that pretty little face will land in your arms. I still remember that moment when the doctor raised her and told me that I have a pretty little girl. Her head full of hair and that pointy nose is all I could see lying on that operating table. She was divine.
Motherhood will change you and for the better. Get ready for a life of revelation. You will know of feelings, strength and courage that you never knew that you had. It will be a life that will feel like a piece of heaven.
Have you thought about what you would like to tell your then pregnant self?