Another year, another tea cup.
Well, that's another year done I'm never quite sure what to write in these 'end of the year' posts. Do I just talk about myself? Yes? Okay then, if you say so. I guess I'll just ramble, throw in some random pictures and at the end of this entry I can look back and review this year in review post. Actually, I tried to write 'review' in that sentence a few more times, as I've just noticed if you say 'review' over and over again, it morphs into 'roo-voo', which is quite funny for half a second.
First up, I've just noticed I did a lot more posts last year than this. Mm... Is that because I did more walking in 2011? No, what you'll find is that I turned most entries into long overblown convoluted examples of blogging, which would leave me spent for a fortnight before attempting another. I always say I'll write shorter posts, but I think I'm deluding myself.
Don't worry, I have researched the 'ideal blog length' online and what I've found is answers from people who appear to have no idea themselves. Long and rambling or short and sharp like a sudden kick to the testicles? The general consensus is that they've got to be short to stop people from dribbling uncontrollably as they slip into a coma. Well, I'm standing up for the posts that go on for eternity. Okay, now onto the roo-voo. It's actually a good chance to post random pictures that I couldn't fit in anywhere else during the year. Such as this one during one of my trudges home from work one evening.
Now, which entries did people read the most? I've just done a quick stocktake and this is my top three according to the statistics.
1. Mount Dandenong circuit walk, Dandenong Ranges National Park.
2. Lightheart SoLong 6: First impressions and the world of outdoor shelters.
3. Briggs Bluff, Winter, Victoria, 2012.
Mm... That's quite interesting and it confirms that even after all of this time I've no idea what works and what doesn't. Mount Dandenong is a mega-popular place in Melbourne, so I can see why that might get Googled. Then again, it contained a long running obscure joke where I substituted the word 'rock' from song titles and replaced it with 'bokeh'. Maybe that was the allure?
The Lightheart review affirms that gear talk gets read, which is disappointing as I find that sort of stuff a little dull. Actually, it reminds me that I've got to do a post on that tent again. In using, I found a flaw which totally turned the tent turtle (TTT) but it's back in action due to the skills of sewing guru Oanh who lives in the blog 'Unique Schmuck'. I must get that entry done soon, otherwise she'll do an Ed Gein on me with her new sewing machine.
Now, regarding most read posts, how about something different, like 'least read posts'? Before I do that I'll slot in a picture. I haven't just been checking out wonders of nature all year. Sometimes I like to visit the magnificent, historical places around Melbourne, but that can be problematic when the place has only been inhabited in the last five minutes. Check out this hallowed building.
Is that blokes first name really 'Jere'? Please don't tell me he's funkified the name 'Jerry'? It had me thinking what I can do with my name. It's pretty dull, but I guess it can be spiced up with an extra 'g' such as 'Gregg'? Then again, like a real wanker I'd rather flip the whole scenario and go with 'Ggreg' instead. That's way more groovy, don't you think? All I have to do is slot in a silent 'q' somewhere and I'll be done.
Now, what didn't people read. Here's the top three.
1. Day 2. Cubbys Camp to Cobboboonee Camp, Great South West Walk, Victoria. Winter 2012.
2. New Dawn Fades, October 2012.
3. Day 5. Battersbys to Patterson, Great South West Walk, Victoria. Winter 2012.
There's a couple of problems with those three posts and that's two of them are of the one trip. Yes, that epic Great South West Walk (GSWW) still has another eight posts to go! Have people given up reading about it and I haven't even reached half-way? Well, to confound the blogging critics, I'm not giving up and will finish it no matter what the stats. Hang on. My dad dying is number two of least read posts? You bastards! I'm an adult orphan! Where's the humanity?!
Anyway, now that outburst is out of the way, back to the GSWW. There's lots more good stuff to come on that hike, just for sunrises alone. Like this one.
It also includes plenty of action from occasional hiking sidekick, the Smuffin. Here he is in his underpants (again) with his junk swinging in the breeze, collecting another food drop on the hike.
As you can see, there's excitement aplenty in that saga and over the past year Smuffin really stepped up (in between cooking injuries). He may not come out again though, since he, Ben and I almost died from exhaustion on the world's smallest hike to Falcons Lookout in Werribee Gorge. It was termed (by me) 'the hot weather horror', but I think I've found one reason Smuffin suffered so badly on that day. Have a look at this. Whereas I employ a fairly straight ahead walking style...
...Smuffin prefers his feet to be at the 'quarter to three' position. Surely one has to cover twice the ground, making the hike a lot further with that method?
He'll love that joke and without doubt I'll receive a one word text of a profane word starting with 'c' once he reads this post.
Now, I have to mention the Mayan apocalypse. What was all that about? Pay TV loved it, judging by the zillion documentaries they churned out, but I'd dismissed it pretty early on. Why should I put any weight on a theory by a bunch of blokes who didn't wear pants? Then again, I did go to bed wondering if I'd wake up surrounded in rubble from 'no pants driven uncontrollable random lava and other things that wreck stuff'. In the morning I peeked out of the blinds and was mortified to see the damage that had occurred overnight.
Mayan lemon apocalypse.
There's one thing I've done over the past year and that's I've hardly bought any new hiking gear. It all just seems more of the same, although there's a couple of things that have been going really well.
Firstly, there's the 2012 Gossamer Gear Mariposa backpack which I picked up in their sales. So far it's been very comfortable and I've used it on most walks lately. Here it is with the 'super deluxe box set' of Never Mind the Bollocks. I think they both go well together.
One thing I like about the backpack is its sizing for the taller hiker. I have the 'Xtra-Large' which finally gives me some leeway with the hip belt. So many packs hip straps seem to buckle up just under my nipples. Not the Mariposa. I can even run the strap half way down my bum if I'm feeling a little 'gangster' whilst out walking. Doing that though means I've tended to come across totally different looking hikers than I normally would. Check out these two.
"Yo, I think you're misunderstood. We're from the hood to the wood."
What else seems to be working well so far? Well, on the GSWW my old Garmin GPS started to throw in the towel. It began going downhill when I kept having to empty water out of the battery compartment. It seemed the seals were done, so when I got back I splurged on the Garmin eTrex 30.
It's simple to use, the topo maps (I have the Australian and NZ maps on an micro SD card) look great and to top it off it has great battery life. I do like Garmin products, so its a pity their software is at times clunky as hell. Not to mention 'Garmin Connect', which is what I upload and store my walks on. I've seen this quite a few times...
There you go. That's it for hiking gear right now. I do have to work in an office which is quite disappointing, but it's been made a little easier with some products I've come across this year. Firstly there's the banana carriage holder. I no longer have to arrive at work with bruised bananas.
There's a new lightweight mobile phone I've picked up...
...and if you combine them with 'fake awake' eye-patches, you truly do have the complete office essentials.
What other epic events have happened? Well, I think I broke a new world record for sitting on the couch when I successfully watched five seasons of 'Breaking Bad' within 11 days. It went from 'Breaking Bad' to 'Breaking BadAss', but it was a lot of fun.
Am I getting off track? Well, back to hiking. I didn't go too badly wrecking things this year. Here's what I found in the 'destruction box'.
See? That's not too bad is it? I also blew apart a pair of pants on my hike to Mount Langi Ghiran when I fell down an enormous granite boulder. I think I destroy one pair of pants a year, so it's lucky there are constant sales happening in the hiking shops, otherwise I'll be destitute or hiking sans pants.
I did get thrown out of whack a bit when dad passed away. Not least when confronting all of the crap I've been finding stockpiled in the house. I detailed some of the trauma in my 'house cleaning' post. There's been constant surprises lately and another one was a vast selection of ties. Mind you, I never ever saw him wear one, so I've no idea what they were for. Here they are here...
...and they were stored in bread bag. Not just any bread bag, but a 'Golden Toast' bag.
The mind boggles.
Now, what post did I enjoy doing the most this year? Blogging keeps me entertained and Che 'Fifty Shades of Che' Guevara entry kept me going for a while. Mind you, taking the pictures for that was absurdly difficult. You try wearing a Buff headwear vertically around a tube of cardboard during a strong wind. Here's an outtake...
Oh yeah, Smuffin was very critical of the photo in that post where I'm wearing an Elvis Presley wig. He said the caption should have read 'Chelvis', as that would have been both clever and funny. It can be a tough crowd sometimes.
I guess I should start wrapping this post up? If I don't I'll be finishing it in 2013 and that would defeat the whole purpose? Well, here's another picture that I came across. I'm not sure why a HMG Windrider Southwest pack is under the lemon tree (pre apocalypse) with both Obama and Churchill? There must be a reason, but I can't think of it right now.
So, what's ahead? Well, I've got two months off work in April and May. It will be a make or break attempt at either something really huge, or maybe a shorter two hike combo. I'm not sure which and I figured my fitness might have something to do with the decision. I've been training a bit on the couch lately which usually doesn't transform into good mountain climbing stamina. Then again, maybe I'll do hardly anything, sit around and eat burgers, then head off into the alpine region? Surely the drama that such a ludicrous preparation like that would make for some entertaining blog entries?
Mind you, that paragraph sums up that whenever a flawless hike is completed, I end up with nothing to write about. Mm... The blogging dilemma...
Anyway, I made a mistake last year of talking about hikes I was going to do and then through a combination of reasons had to end up cancelling. It seemed that as soon as I mentioned one, it no longer got off the ground, so I'll keep all of my half-baked plans secret right now.
One thing is for sure and that's some things will remain the same. There'll be rampant polarizer abuse of evening clouds when I look out the front door during the evening...
...and more ramblings about parents and the stuff I'm finding in boxes at home. This is good therapy!
The moon during evenings when looking out my front door. With polarizer of course...
Birds standing on random features (with the moon of course. Oh yeah, and polarizer). I think that's a juvenile Silver Gull, but then again it could be a juvenile Pacific Gull. Can anyone help me out?
If I had a choice, I'd prefer coastal over mountains, so you'll see more ocean action. Even idyllic...
Tahiti Flinders
...and not so. What's silly about the next picture is it was meant to be in the last post, but for some reason I mixed it up with another. Anyway, this was from the George Bass Coastal Walk and it's one of the bigger splashes against a rock I'd seen for some time.
You know what? I think that's it. In signing off for another year, I thank everyone who's dropped by for a read, left a comment or nodded off from an overblown epic post. Even this one. The one-legged bird is a perfect conclusion to this roo-voo...
