Expat Magazine

When Life Throws You Curveballs

By Feistytapas @feistytapas

When life throws you curveballs

I has been a wake-up and smell the pretty spring flowers few weeks

I published this post last week, it had taken quite a few days to decide to hit publish but I did it. Then 5 minutes later there were 3 messages in my Facebook inbox from people checking if I was ok which was not at all the desired intention of the post. So, let's try to do this differently this time.
I shall start by saying that I write this from a very good place. Feeling more like me than I have in years. A place where I feel excited about future plans, I have fallen in love again with my husband, with my life and with my little family.
It had been a while since I had written a diatribe and back then I did write from a different position (one of safety behind my anonymity).
It's not that I hadn't had anything to say, it's that I had too much to say and sometimes when there is too much to say it's best to say nothing at all.
In fact it's best to contain it all so that you don't have to think about it, if you don't move much then feelings and thoughts stay with you.
No sentimental songs, no liberating tunes. No. Feelings. At. All.
It's best to transfer nothing to paper because then it's real.
And it's absolutely best not to ever let go.
Until you explode of course, and then it all comes out.
But, of course, you do this in private because why should you let anyone see your weaknesses and that you really are not the supercapable person everyone believes you to be.
Because, deep inside, you really are supercapable, because you can take it all on, anything the world throws at you.
Until you can't.
Not anymore. Not this last curveball. Whatever it is, work, school run or the latest email that makes you want to scream.
But there is nowhere to turn, you try opening up to someone and you don't get the support you need, it actually goes very much the other way and life throws something else at you instead.
So you retreat again, you take it all inside you again. You keep juggling it all.
It's better that way.
Until it isn't.
There comes a point when you need to knock down that wall you've built around you, stand tall, grab those balls you've been juggling and start a counterattack. Then sit down with a nice drink and start thinking of moving forward.
You start listening to those tunes again, letting go and speaking up because there comes a point when the world (your world, however big or small) is actually ready to hear you.
You start finding your inspiration again. You start looking at the blue sky, at the pretty flowers, clouds start taking shapes again.
So, crank up those tunes (or the equivalent for you) and let's have a go at this, at life, at your life, at the life you want. 
Tell me, what do you want from YOUR life?
PS - Normal service will be resumed soon with something like this but hopefully you can expect more diatribes in future, I quite enjoy writing them ;)
When life throws you curveballs

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