"I am, by nature, a socially awkward human being who has ruined many a party for my long-suffering wife, but there's something about presenting work to a client that brings out the dreadful show-off in me. According to my mother, I was a horribly precocious child who would dance in front of the telly when Top of the Pops was on, shrieking "Look at me! Look at me!" at the top of my voice. For some reason, client meetings bring out this delightful side to my character.
And so I stood up on my chair to give Jill the most vivid impression I could of what it would be like to witness the full technicolour glory of Brian May paying electric homage to her new burger.
"SESAME SEED BUN!" I roared, miming a powerful guitar chord: "THWAAAANG!"
This extraordinarily moving performance was met with an unexpectedly deathly silence. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Jim had turned bright red and was looking fixedly down at the table in front of him as if there was something really fucking important going on there that he had to pay attention to right this very minute or the world would come to an end. I looked up at Jill."
