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Top Five Things You Shouldn't Say to the Wife of a Stay-at-Home-Dad

By Bethkemp @BethKemp
This was originally published back in June 2011, but unfortunately it still stands...

1: But does he do the cleaning/dusting/washing/ironing etc?

Er, yeah  - that's clearly part of the deal. (Not to mention none of your business! I bet stay-at-home-Mum families don't get quizzed about the nitty gritty of their domestic arrangements).
2: I'd still have to clean the toilet myself. Don't you?
Er, no. (Strange as it may seem, men are just as capable as women of getting things actually clean).
3: But don't the kids want you when they're sick? It's natural, isn't it?
It's probably natural if you're the one who's done the bulk of the caring. The kids are perfectly happy to have Daddy look after them.
4: Did he lose his job? / Can't he get a job?
Although this is often said in a sympathetic way, commiserating with me, it's still pretty rude. This is our choice, not an accident; if he were unemployed, that's probably how I'd describe it rather than saying he stays at home. Again - I doubt husbands of stay-at-home-mums get this question.
5: Wow, that's a lot of pressure of you to 'keep' the family.
This is also very often a sympathetic comment, but one I doubt male single earners get.
Generally speaking, many people still find our situation either hard to understand or fascinating. I always answer questions as though I'm happy to, but really I'm sad that in the 21st century a family with a working mom and a stay-at-home-dad is enough of an oddity to create interest. Clearly, many people believe in 'natural' gender differences, especially when it comes to parenting.

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