Health Magazine

There’s a Troll Living Under the Bikini Bridge; We Can All Go Home Now

Posted on the 15 January 2014 by Badgereverglade

Oh boy, do I feel sheepish. Well, more billy-goat-like, I suppose, as I have been had! I HAVE BEEN HAD! by trolls.

Remember that whole bikini bridge thing? Apparently it was cooked up by 4chan. Admittedly, had I looked into it further, I probably could have pulled that apart within five minutes of deploying my Internet smarts. That said, I have, like, a job and stuff, and a cat to feed and friends to talk to, so I didn’t really take that time.

That said: all that good shit I said still stands.

But this tendency cuts both ways. We mock “cankles” but we revere “thigh gaps” and “bikini bridges.” It’s six in one hand, half dozen in the other, really — we’re objectifying women’s bodies. We’re not seeing them as a whole. We’re not appreciating all the wonderful things they do, but focusing in on a minor, tiny little visual detail. What’s next? Will we develop macro lenses so powerful, and small enough to fit on our iPhones, that we’ll start lusting after certain types or quantities of microorganisms feeding on the bacteria on our skin?

Look, all I’m saying — trolls or no — is man, I write some good shit.

And my prediction? Despite the trolly origins of this whole bikini bridge scandal, it will nonetheless be absorbed into the consciousness of young women as something to aspire to. The desire to have poky hipbones is not new. In fact, it is the source of the humor in this image:

Lady choosing delicious snacks over

Source: Probably not actually LOLBRARY, but what the hell their name’s on it

There is a bikini bridge in the upper left hand of this picture, which one of my friends shared on Facebook well over a year ago, meaning it predates the 4chan scheme.

But none of this actually matters. What does matter is this:

Hipbones are good. Fleshy hips are good, too. You are good. I am good.

First lady of goodness, Martha Stewart

We’re all one of these.

And as for 4chan’s supposed “War on Feminism” — I’m not convinced that they’re actually trying to cause a real “fourth wave” so much as parody all of the “waves.” I don’t pretend to understand people who frequent 4chan, but there already are plenty of divides within feminism, mostly due to people not acknowledging intersectionality. Feminism does have a problem with acknowledging the complexities that lie in the intersections of marginality — size is one of them, and so are race, sexuality, gender identity, class, and so on. Anyone who pays attention knows that.

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