Every single family in this world places different values on particular things. We all make choices reflecting what we value in our families. Hopefully, for marriage sake we agree with our spouse on financial matters.
Whether the Father will be the sole provider of the family, or whether the Mother will. Will they both work? Either choice is A-Okay with me. As long as everyone is happy and loved, go with what you feel led to do.
What is not ok with me is when people find out I solely stay home with our three children, and my husband works his toosh off for me to do so, people spout out comments like:
” Man. I would hate to have all the responsibility.”
” So your wife just doesn’t want to work?”
” How can you afford to keep her home? Kids are expensive!”
All well meaning questions. The fact is that this day in age it is a rarity that Mothers stay home full time to raise a family. It’s often frowned upon, and called irresponsible financially to do so.
For us as a couple, the choice was simple. We created these human beings in love, and they will be raised by their Mother. In fact, that is why my husband got out of the Furniture business to become self employed, able to make more money to keep me home with our children.
The thing I want to make clear for most stay at home mothers is this:
Our husbands never once ” complain” about us bringing in no income, simply because they place pride and value on being able to keep us home to raise their children. This is not a financial burden they carry, this is a blessing, a blessing in which they love to bestow upon the wife that they love. They care for our hearts , and understand our deep need to nourish our offspring. By providing for our families they are saying:
I see you. I see what is important to your heart, and I want to do everything possible to honor it.
Does this mean that my family dynamic is any better than yours? Absolutely not. I am close friends with many amazing working Moms. They rock at mothering, and having a career. I think they’re amazing! In no way does a choice to work tell your children you love them less. That’s ridiculous.
What matters is that wherever your children are during the day, they know deeply that they are loved by their parents.
Staying at home with children always means we sacrifice something. Often to get what we really want in life, what is truly important to us we make sacrifices along the way to our dream. Our children are clothed mainly by Target clearance section and consignment sales. I make at least 4 to 6 home cooked meals a week to save money. We shop a Costco to get wholesale prices to feed our family. I don’t hate thrift shops. We buy furniture on Craigslist. All these things make me happy because I know our children are happy, loved and feel secure at home.
The fact is that for MY family, this works. I thrive on being home when my children wake up, to the moment they lay down to sleep. It is a blessing, not a burden. No money in the world could keep me from my dream of being with them. Pulling out my hair at the end of a long day, and pouring a large glass of wine. Because, lets be real. Parenting isn’t easy, but it’s never a burden.
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