Books Magazine

The Day After Mother’s Day: The Debate Over Who Works Harder—Stay-at-Home Moms, Working Moms, Or Part-Time Moms? Debunking the Myth

By Steph's Scribe @stephverni

imagesToo often I hear moms battling it out over who works harder—the stay-at-home mom, the working mom, or the part-time mom. I’ve seen moms look down their noses at others for the time they put into their work, whether that work takes place in the home, in the office, at a computer, or at a variety of other professional places. As we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday, moms everywhere were heralded for their devotion to their children, for their unending love for the job at hand, and for doing the hardest work on the planet—parenting.

Despite all that celebrating, I think it’s time for moms everywhere to stop beating each other up. The bottom line is that being a mom is challenging, whether you’re balancing dishes or earning a degree or fighting for a promotion. As someone who has been lucky enough to experience all three aspects of motherhood, I’m sorry to say, there’s just no easy way out. No matter how you slice it, the job comes with its advantanges and its disadvantages.

I spent some long days alone when my kids were small trying to figure out how to fill the time from when my husband left in the morning until he came home at night; when my kids got a little older and I decided to work part-time, I had to balance the house, the kids, and the job; and, in 2008, when I became a full-time faculty member at a university, I had not only to balance the kids and the job, but I also had to go back to school to earn a Master’s of Fine Arts degree. To say I didn’t sleep much is putting it lightly.

moms

Each and every one of those jobs requires a sacrifice of some kind, whether it meant giving up a good career to raise the kids and being a masterful juggler, to balancing work and home with a part-time job, to throwing myself into my work and hoping my kids will understand why I could only spend one day with them on the weekend as I pursued a career in the field of education.

Ladies—moms everywhere—it’s time to stop beating each other up. In this wonderful United States of America, we have the divine privilege of choice and what works best for our families. If your family relies on your salary to keep the family afloat or if you are a career woman, then the choice may be to work and bring in an income and advance your career. If your family needs a little money on the side or you just want to stay busy in a part-time capacity, then that choice may suit you. Or, if you have the wonderful luxury of staying at home with your children, you may decide that meets the needs of the family best.

The bottom line? Who are we to judge another woman’s choice? What we should be doing is praising that woman for all that she does for her kids and her family. We all make choices in life—some good ones, some fair ones, and some really, really bad ones—but ultimately, it’s that mom’s choice and not ours.

Mommies everywhere, here’s my advice: if you want to be happy with the decisions you make to raise your children, stop comparing yourself to others. You are uniquely you and your family is uniquely yours.

Captured this moment at Fenway Park...my son with his arm around his sister during batting practice.

Captured this moment at Fenway Park…my son with his arm around his sister during batting practice.

It’s time to adopt the attitudes of our kids and respect and encourage one another instead of trying to tear each other down.

If you don’t believe this is a real discussion that can rip friendships apart, I’m here to tell you otherwise. It can. It has. It does. Plus, all you need to do is GOOGLE working moms vs. stay-at-home moms. You’ll be amazed at the multitude of articles that continue to barrage the Internet.

In closing, from me to you, whether you work full-time, part-time, in the home, or perhaps are retired and are enjoying motherhood from a different perspective, Happy Belated Mother’s Day.

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, you’re doing a great job.

Don’t let anyone allow you feel otherwise.

Famous-Mothers-Day-2015-Quotes-and-Sayings-for-Mom-Aunt


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Do You Recommend Going in and out of Ketosis?

    Recommend Going Ketosis?

    What do I need to know about exercising while doing extended fasting? How much salt should I add to water when I'm fasting? And do you recommend going in and ou... Read more

    5 hours, 12 minutes ago by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE
  • Songs from '78: "Follow You Follow Me"

    Songs from '78: "Follow Follow

    For the second time--and not for the last--my memories of the pop music world of 1978 are shaped in part by the detritus of progressive rock, as it was... Read more

    5 hours, 47 minutes ago by   Russellarbenfox
    SOCIETY
  • 5 Ways To Give Now For A Future Competitive Advantage

    Ways Give Future Competitive Advantage

    Business partnerships have traditionally been agreements to drive more transactions than either company could do alone. The new paradigm, driven by disruptive... Read more

    6 hours, 17 minutes ago by   Martin Zwilling
    BUSINESS, CAREER
  • Have You Voted For The New Church President Yet?

    Have Voted Church President Yet?

    Previously: Who Died And Made Him President? I'm just messing with you--the title of this piece is a trick question. You can't vote for the Church president... Read more

    6 hours, 36 minutes ago by   Rockwaterman
    SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Heavens Above

    Heavens Above

    When things get bad down here we start to turn our eyes to the heavens. A couple of news stories in the past few weeks have encouraged such star gazing. Read more

    8 hours ago by   Steveawiggins
    POLITICS, RELIGION, SOCIETY
  • Recommended Keto Blog: Food for Thought

    Recommended Keto Blog: Food Thought

    If you crave some more variety and inspiration in the low-carb and keto blogs you read, here's one which Dr. Evelyne Bourdua-Roy highly recommends - Food for... Read more

    8 hours, 58 minutes ago by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE
  • Can I Get, Like, a Coffee?

    Get, Like, Coffee?

    It’s often said that the strength of the English Language is its extraordinary ability to absorb, evolve and invent. All fine and dandy. Otherwise we’d still... Read more

    9 hours, 47 minutes ago by   Jackscott
    DIARIES, EXPAT, SELF EXPRESSION