Humor Magazine

The Cost of The 12 Days of Christmas

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

On the First Day of Christmas my True Love gave to me….

A Partridge in a Pear Tree:

True Love Spends:

Pear Tree: Around $20

Partridge: $15-20

Your cost:

To upkeep the pear tree: $390 a year

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year

Two Turtle Doves:
True Love Spends:

$60 dollars a piece for $120 for the pair

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 2

Three French Hens:
True Love Spends:

$50 dollars a piece for $150 for the three

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 3

Four Calling Birds:
True Love Spends:

Around $125 dollars a piece for $500 for all four

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 4

Five Golden Rings:
True Love Spends:

Prices could really vary, so we are going with $200 a piece for a $1000 total

Your cost:

Ring maintenance: with a package from a jewelry store, maybe a one time cost of $200

Six Geese a-Laying:
True Love Spends:

$30 dollars a piece for $180 for all six

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 6, knock off maybe a $100 if you can sell the eggs

Seven Swans-a-Swimming:
True Love Spends:

$900 dollars a piece for $6300 for all seven

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 7, knock off maybe a $500 if you can sell the eggs

Eight Maids-a-Milking:
True Love Spends:

$58 dollars per maid for the day, $150 to rent a cow for the week times 8  equals $4,448

Your cost:

To feed and house the cows and maids we are guessing around $2000 for the week

Nine Ladies Dancing:
True Love Spends:

About a $1000 a piece for $9000 total

Your cost:

You could get anyway with nothing to spend if they were only their for the day. Maybe some bottled water would be nice. $9

Ten Lords-a-Leaping:
True Love Spends:

About a $1000 a piece for $10,000 total

Your cost:

Same as the ladies, you could get anyway with nothing to spend if they were only their for the day. Maybe some bottled water. $10

Eleven Pipers Piping:
True Love Spends:

It seems Pipers are cheap. About 208 a piece. For eleven that’s: 2288

Your cost:

Tell them to get their own bottled water. Just joking. $11

Twelve Drummers Drumming:
True Love Spends:

Drummers cost slightly more than Pipers. $220 a piece for $2640

Your cost:

Go to Sam’s Club and buy a couple cases of water. $12


It will cost your True Love roughly $119,148 to send these gifts.

It will cost you roughly $10, 232 for the year in upkeep.

Geesh.

12-days-of-christmas


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