Humor Magazine

Ten Great Ways To Re-Use Sex Toys Around The House

By Russell Deasley @Worlds_Top_10

Sex toys, we’re guessing everyone knows what they are. For those who don’t, here’s a brief description: toys you use when having sex or intercourse. They don’t mean “use your wife’s dildo as a door stop” or “use your fake vagina as a towel holder.” For some people, this post will look disgusting and to others, it will make them laugh out loud and the truth is there is no easy way to explain why you should reuse your old sex-toys for other purposes, other than a rather interesting talking point and maybe you can buy some new sex toys online!

Towel Holder

Towel Holder

I’m not sure what sort of weird sex-toy this was, but it holds a tea-towel rather nicely! All you have to do is to poke it in there!

Door Stop

Door Stop

Say “No” to scuffs, scratches and unsightly scrapes with this unobtrusive door stop. The soft-head of the dildo will stop any bumps easily and save the paint from rubbing off on your door.

Orange Juicer

Orange Juicer

All you need is a orange, 1 bowl and a rather sturdy sex plug! Then all you do is cut the orange in half and rub for all you are worth!

Pen Holder

Pen Holder

Always have a pen at the ready to write down your deepest ideas. And the more you stretch each hole, the more pens and pencils you can get into each!

Beer Holder

Beer Holder

If you like a good grip on your beer and like to be kept cold why not slip it into a fleshlight! All you have to do is place the toy into the freezer for ten minutes and jobs-a-gooden!

Wine Corker

Wine Corker

“Hey, honey! Have you seen my butt plug? I can’t seem to find it and I’m unsure where it could be?” “Oh yeah, dear! It’s in the top of the bottle of wine. I couldn’t find the cork!” “Oh, OK! Did you wash it first?” “Hmmm, I don’t think so, no.”

Drain Plug

Drain Plug

Sink plugs always seem to disappear without a trace. Now you have a back up plan! The harder you ram it into the hole the better plug it will be!

Lamp Stand

Lamp Stand

while it looks like a sturdy enough stand I have to wince in pain as to where the lightbulb goes!

Drain Unblocker

Drain Unblocker

From sticking things into the sink, to unblocking it with something else. Again, you will need to ram it home to get that pipe-hole cleared.

Head-Rest

Head-Rest

Sitting for long periods without good neck and head support is silly if you care about your health. Thankfully this headrest makes your head & neck feel like they’re trapped between a little bit of heaven.

We are sure this is now going to open the floodgates to TV programmes such as “Totally Unexpected Uses For Sex Toys” and a “House Sex Toys: Using Them Around The Home”. Just as long as we don’t go to our Grans and she has granddads butt plug where her orange juicer used to be!


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