Diet & Weight Magazine

Stuck in an Unfulfilling Job? Overcome Your Fear of Abandonment

By Pamelabrowncoaching @coach_pam_brown

Did you know that fear of abandonment can stop you from leaving a unfulfilling job to start the business of your dreams?  If you are experiencing resistance to change, this fear may be the culprit behind your ambivalence.

So What Is Fear of Abandonment, and How is it Hindering Me?

Basically, it’s the fear of losing someone or something.  It’s also related to the fear of being rejected or being alone.  So even though you hate your job and you want to leave, because you have a fear of losing people and things, you won’t be so ready to let it leave.

Fear of abandonment is your way of staying connected to something that is familiar, in this case your unfulfilling job.  If you want to transition from total unhappiness to a fulfilling career much easier, then overcome this sabotaging fear.

For more information on fear of abandonment, click here.

How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment

1.  Build your sense of self.  Who are you and what is the impact you have in this world?  What special strengths do you have to offer?  What is your purpose?  Fear of abandonment is tied to feelings of “not good enough” or feelings of loneliness.  Building your self-worth can help you overcome these challenges.  To get started, check out this post.

2.  Surround yourself with like-minded people.  Connection is important when you strike out on your own.  Money is tied to people; the more people you meet, the more chances you have to meet paying customers.  Connections also help to build your sense of belonging and confidence to handle challenges that may come your way.  When you need support the most, you will have it.

3.  Deal with your insecurities.  When you increase your feelings of safety and security in the world, you increase your sense of self.  Dealing with childhood traumas and hurts are key when dealing with security issues.  If you have anger against towards your parents or others from your past, then do the following:

  • acknowledge your anger to someone you can trust
  • take the good from it; discover lessons to be learned
  • forgive that person and vow to show compassion towards them
  • then forgive yourself for the guilt, anger, shame, etc that you harbored for so long

Remembering that the very people who hurt you are not confident or feel worthy themselves.  They are in fact wounded children who sometimes don’t know any better.

4.  Get professional help.  Join co-dependents anonymous.  Hire a competent counselor.  Whatever you have to do to heal, do it.   Healing is critical to life success.  Hold on to past hurts, and you can be sure that you will never rise to the top.


If you want to leave a job that drains you, doesn’t feed you, or help you to grow, then make sure you don’t have a fear of abandonment.  If you cringe at the thought of losing someone or something, or are pre-occupied with those thoughts, then chances are you have that fear.  Take the steps to overcome this fear, and you will be on your way to success central!

Do you struggle with fear of abandonment?  Feel free to leave your comments below! 

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