My Teen Used To Be So Helpful – What Happened?
Should Kids Have To Earn Money?
The husband and I are at war because my thirteen year old daughter has become increasingly lazy and unhelpful around the home. Only this morning she left toast crumbs and the buttered knife on the worktop. How hard is it to quickly wipe the side down?
The argument started late last night when she informed us she needed £30 on Friday as she has arranged to go bowling with a friend. While I am happy she is getting out and doing fun activities I am a little annoyed that she has agreed to this as she has no money to finance this outing.
£30 is also a large sum of money for me to pull out of thin air, the phone bill needs paying, it’s my mums birthday tomorrow and I still need to buy a gift and the husband has arranged a rare night out with friends on Saturday night. We don’t have spare cash, simple.
All three children aged 9,10 and 13 are given weekly pocket money of £10.00 each, if they complete a simple list of chores each week.
To be honest my 10 year old Casey is amazing and so eager to help and loves cleaning. Her bedroom is spotless and never fails at receiving her pocket money at the end of the week. My 9 year old Cameron is a different kettle of fish altogether, he thinks tidying his room’s means to shove everything under his bed or into drawers, if you can’t see it its tidy in his eyes.
The three youngest children aged 2,3 and 4 know that at the end of the day they have to help pick up all the toys strewn across the living room and pack them back into the toy boxes, they do this without being asked, its part of their daily routine.
The chores I expect from the eldest children are nothing major, they do not include washing up or hovering. They are expected to do simple things like making their beds and opening their blinds on a morning. I can go up at tea time and find my teenager bed still unmade and the blind closed. It looks bad from outside is my argument, its laziness and nothing else.
At thirteen I had a paper round, was ironing and helping around the home.
Here my teenager has no idea that dirty clothes even go into the wash basket provided. She used to be so helpful what changed?
Maybe it’s just a phase? I don’t like mess and she is happy to wallow in it, it does not make for an easy life.
“She is getting nothing as she does nothing” my husband says
While I am left feeling guilty and a bad mother that she will have to tell her friend’s mother that she can no longer go with them as she has no money. Surely it’s my responsibility to provide for her, but at what cost? Should she have to earn her money?
It does not help that she is one of six children while many of her friends are an only child. Most of her friends are overly spoilt and want for nothing. They are the first to get the latest fashion trends where my teen has to wait until either it’s a special occasion such as their birthday or I have extra money.
I know that my husband is right to say no. That she should be earning her pocket money and I have to stop running around picking up after her, but why am I feeling such a failure.
Join In Our Argument – Who Is Right The Husband Or Me?
