I honestly thought that I was re-watching Epic Movie for the first 15 minutes. Even getting further into this shitty movie made me realize that this is basically an exact carbon copy of Epic Movie and that is insulting. The same stale pop culture jokes, racists stereotypes and even the most juvenile of flatulence jokes that you could cram into your ass. I just can’t believe that this got made and that the directors think that this is humorous. I am certain they think their own farts to be masterpieces in cinema and comedy.
You know what, since this is a carbon copy of Epic Movie, my review will be a carbon copy of my previous review. That is how little effort I want to put into this since I watch two directors basically just erase and whiteout their previous movie for this one.
Fuck this movie.
The filmmaking team behind Date Movie and Meet the Spartans is back with a comedy spoof sending up disaster movies in this Lionsgate production. Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, G-Thang, and Kim Kardashian head up the cast as a group of concerned citizens willing to do whatever it takes to save planet Earth from being incinerated by falling meteors or overrun by rabid chipmunks. Along the way, everything from High School Musical to Cloverfield gets the parody treatment. Carmen Electra and Tony Cox co-star. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi
Whenever I see the names Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer anywhere on movie, I immediately skip it. Conversely if there are any names of writers from the Scary Movie franchise that these movies love to tout as if people will immediately think comedy, I skip it as well. This is the first movie I have had to watch from these “comedy” writers and it was utter shit. Any hack can do what they did since their comedy is all dick and fart jokes mixed current things in popular culture. It’s as if the writers just discovered dick and fart jokes and have to have them in every scene cause that shit is hilarious. It’s juvenile and well past of the point of hackney and their rapid fire pop culture “riffs” aren’t even clever.
Here is a setup for a joke/scene. Since we are just parodying everything about disaster movies, remember all those marvel superhero movies? Yeah well there is this scene in which the different superheroes all come out during some meteor strike and each hero is dispensed in a really fun way. You have Ironman being crushed into a can and the Hulk hulks out and his pants rip all the way open. I mean that’s funny right? It has to be, it’s a reference to some movie that just came out or about to come out and you remember that it is something serious and fun, thus being funny when we parody it. That right there is comedy folks. There are even more egregious pop culture ADHD jokes that aren’t even coherent within the movie, they are just there because teens will recognize them and maybe laugh. Hey remember Hannah Montana? Well she is crushed under a rock for some reason because you know, people wanted that. Oh what about Juno? Well there is a character exactly like her that is super annoying and her unborn child is also used as a continuous joke for like fetal alcohol syndrome and being used in combat situations. Hey they even parody and make fun of the members of Sex in the City! It has everything stupid pop culture reference you can even remember in your ADHD riddled brain.
Not a fucking thing about this movie is humorous or even remotely can be considered clever. This is designed to assault the viewer with a constant barrage of pop cultural jokes and nothing more. No substance, no humor, no crafted jokes, just a string of non sequitur, pieces of “jokes” and hope that something hits with the audience. I can’t remember what the plot was or even if there was something made me even smile in a humorous way. Referencing cultural touchstones or things in the pop culture zeitgeist is not comedy, that is just recalling shit. It takes a certain craft to mold it into a coherent joke and not just a joke based on a fart or something else juvenile. I can hardly imagine that the cast and crew were dying from laughter during the making of this movie.
Man, this review was a lot easier to do since it was exactly the same dead pony that the directors and writers used for the first movie. I mean hell, I am going to write my own “Blank” Movie in the same vein as the directors and writers of this dumbass movie.
This one is called Oscar Movie.
So the movie starts out with a retarded character, because Hollywood loves actors that play retarded/disabled people. If anything, you know this character will do retarded things cause it’s funny to use mental and physical disabilities along with a heaping helping of fart jokes. So this main character name Forrester is on a journey through the ages, meeting a king whose stutter is mixed with tourettes and he also meets an Indian activist named Handi, who sounds like a super stereotypical Indian ala The Love Guru. They go on a journey to disarm IED’s in Iraq cause war movies are prime picking for comedy moments. Plus the movie is jammed packed with blink or you’ll miss it pop culture riffs on Kim Kardashian, Michael Jackson, Lindsey Lohan jokes and even an underlying storyline about Charlie Sheen. WINNING!
There, I just made the latest “Blank” Movie. Hollywood you can contact me at [email protected]
