I loved this memoir by Angela Buchdahl, who is a Korean-American rabbi of one of the largest synagogues in the country. She came to the U.S. as a young girl with her Korean mother and Jewish American father. She was raised Jewish but often encountered people saying she couldn’t be Jewish, because of her race and her mother’s religion (Judaism has traditionally come from one’s mother, not their father). At an early age, she wanted to become a rabbi, and she followed this goal in the face of many challenges, becoming the first Asian-American cantor and rabbi in the United States.
Buchdahl tells us not only her own story, but of the ways that Judaism (Reform Judaism, particularly) has changed over the years, since ordaining the first female rabbi in 1972. Now, female rabbis are common in Reform temples and are even accepted in Orthodox congregations. Buchdahl recognizes that had she been born 30 or 40 years ago, becoming a rabbi, and a Korean-American one at that, wouldn’t have been possible.
At the same time, she worked hard to honor her mother’s heritage as well. She was raised with two cultures, New York Jewish and Korean American, and her Korean heritage played an important part in her childhood, through her mother’s cooking and support of other Korean immigrants, her aunts and cousins, and the alignment of many of the core principles of Buddhism and Judaism. It would have been easy for Buchdahl to have felt fragmented growing up, and I’m impressed with how well her parents must have blended these different aspects of her life.
Buchdahl also writes about how her life, and her congregations, were impacted by COVID and the events of October 7, 2023 in Israel. One of the most chilling chapters was about a synagogue where its rabbi and staff were held hostage by a gunman. She writes about increasing antisemitism and the way violence against Jews is often minimized by the media.
This book is more than just a memoir though. As a rabbi, Buchdahl explores different concepts of Judaism in each chapter, and I learned so much from her analyses. A common theme throughout the book is the idea of accepting those who are outsiders, or strangers. She describes the stories of Abraham and others, who had to leave their homes and only by becoming outsiders in strange lands, could they become truly Jewish. Therefore, Judaism is about accepting and welcoming others, especially those in need of comfort.
It’s also about not surrounding yourself only with those with whom you are comfortable. She writes about the Jewish emphasis on challenging our beliefs, on arguing and questioning, not just believing. Questioning and arguing doesn’t mean you lack faith, it means you’re doing the work to understand more. She writes that Judaism believes there is no one answer, that any problem can be considered different ways. She writes about a principle called havruta, which means partnering with someone to study and understand Jewish texts.
This book affirmed many of the concepts that I admire about Judaism. One, that you don’t need to believe in an all-powerful being to believe in the Jewish principles of community and helping others. And two, that Judaism is about reading, discussing, and challenging each other, and then coming to common understanding. The Jewish emphasis on books and learning has always resonated with me.
I listened to the audiobook, which I recommend because she narrates and also sings on the recording. But I also want to get a hard copy to revisit and mark some of the passages, and I wish I had some quotes I could share with you.
I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to learn more about Judaism and its core beliefs, as well as a memoir of one woman’s inspiring journey. It’s a strong addition to the other books about Judaism I’ve read recently, like As a Jew and People Love Dead Jews.
