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Report: European Union Gives People Right To Eliminate Embarrassing Reports From Search Engine Results

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

CTV News reports that a European Court has ruled that people in the European Union will have the right to ask Google, Yahoo, Bing and other search engines to remove results about them that are “bad” or “old.”

For example, a Spanish man who had his home put to auction due to a bad debt, has the right to complain that Google search results show a link to a newspaper that published the true information about his debt problem in 1998. How Google and Courts are supposed to deal with these kinds of complaints remains unclear.

But one thing is clear: the decision reportedly cannot be appealed!

Since this ruling seems so confusing and difficult to enforce, we offer the following:

3 Suggestions Of How Search Engines Could Self-Censor Information In The European Union To Comply With A European Court Decision

1. Force all search engines to delete this European Court decision from search results, so that it will seem to have never existed. That eliminate confusion on the part of tech companies trying to follow the decision. Sure people may be able to find the decision on microfilms at old libraries, but that’s the real way things should be researched in Europe, based on every Dan Brown novel we’ve read.

2. Since most people in Europe have probably done something stupid or regrettable in their lives, just delete all search results that mention people from Europe. You’re welcome, Prince Harry – those college years never happened.

3. Also, while you are deleting information from Europe, that whole, Greek/Italy/Portugal/Spain/Ireland financial crisis that began in 2008 is both “old” and “bad” news. Sure, deleting history may make search engines less useful, but on the plus side, dear search engines, if people forget a financial crisis happened, they may have more confidence to buy ads on Yahoo. Win-win!

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