I didn't realize that large numbers of expat women struggle when assigned overseas. I didn't realize expat women made confessions about these struggles. And I didn't realize they made them at Expat Women, an online resource for helping expatriate women living overseas.
When Andrea Martins, the director and one of the founders of Expat Women, asked me to review her co-authored book, Expat Women: Confessions - 50 Answers to your Real-life Questions about Living Abroad, I wasn't entirely sure what I was letting myself in for. You see I'm an expat, but not in the traditional sense of the word. I've moved myself around the world independent of any company or organisation. I therefore don't quite fit the typical 'expat professional' mould and my wife doesn't fit the definition of a 'trailing spouse'. Would I be able to relate to this book through my own personal expat experience?
I'm also an expat man. And this book was written for exclusively expat women. So I was keen to see whether the confessions of a struggling expat woman would be relevant to me?
Released in May 2011, Expat Women: Confessions builds on a successful and long-running series on the Expat Women website in which female expatriates (and repatriates), including those who are trailing spouses, confess their struggles to the online experts in a Q&A-type format. The book groups the issues encountered by these women under six principal categories, which makes for logical and straightforward reading.
As I made my way through the book, I felt a sense of deja vu learning about the daily struggles suffered by everyday women in adjusting to a home away from home. From concerns about transitioning into a foreign environment to struggles with unhealthy work-life balances, from suffering regular bouts of homesickness and wanting to go home to experiencing visa difficulties, Expat Women: Confessions covers it all. The range and depth of issues raised, and advice given in return, is staggering yet always approached in a sensitive and honest way.
The "so what?" question that had initially formed on my lips had disappeared. The confessions made and questions asked in the book, often secretly suffered by these expatriate women, were just as applicable to a man like myself. There were untold trepidations and everyday tensions I'd felt on many occasions, and the issues in this book easily crossed gender lines. I found myself relating with ease and familiarity to the anxiety and uncertainty suffered by these fellow expat souls.
The issues were also not unique to international assignees or professional transplants, and could as easily be experienced by a young family choosing to live a life less ordinary on the other side of the world as by a career expat relocating to a neighbouring country on a six-month assignment.
The strength of Expat Women: Confessions is not just the provision of sensible answers and practical advice for any international mover, past or present, but for bringing to light the many issues, frustrations and questions that arise when embarking on a life lived abroad. More importantly for men like myself who will read and learn about the largely unknown struggles facing expat women, the book will raise awareness and inform, which is both necessary and important.
I leave you with one final confession. If you're an expat-to-be or a current expat, you really should be reading this book. It is a significant source of guidance and support for your journey ahead.
For more information and other expat resources, ensure you visit www.expatwomen.com and support the valuable work of people like Andrea at Expat Women.
