The other day I had a really close friend message me to appreciate the effort in creating this site. We spoke at length till she decided to ask me the most dreaded question that goes in every mother’s mind. Should I put my 3-month-old in daycare?
She, like so many of us working moms, was hounded with this question after just a few months of being with the love of her life. Only a mother will understand the kind of pain that was in that question my friend asked me. Isn’t she too young? How will others know when she is hungry or sleepy the way I know it? These are some of the questions that must have been going through her mind.
Though these are realistic questions, let us try to understand the deterrents about why you should not leave your 3 months old in daycare. I will not give you answers such as she is tiny, she is a baby, or you are heartless – no, not one word of judgment from a fellow mother. Let us see practicalities.
Pros –
* Though I have called them pros what I mean are the robust reasons to take this step.
- Your baby will be adhering to a schedule early on making it easier for you as the years pass by.
- Better eating structure. This does not mean she will eat well or better, but since she will start knowing when eating time is, she will eat only when hungry.
- The sleeping schedule will be set. Most daycares follow 3 naps for children under 1 year of age. This will, in turn, help you with the night time.
- You get a little alone time that is so much needed for a new mother. This is real and some ME time does not make you a ghastly mother.
Cons –
- Attachment formation or the ability for your child to feel secure about the mother-child bond happens in the first year of child’s birth. There are chances you will feel a little left out.
- This is my perception, but I wanted to be a part of the firsts for my child. I know most mother would want to as well.
- They need constant supervision, though daycares say they do monitor constantly unless you are absolutely sure about the child: maid ratio, I would not take their word.
- This one is my constant fear and god forbid it happens to anyone’s child, but maids being abusive is a strict no-no for me. Even hitting a child is abuse when it comes to such small children.
If I try to write points emotionally, I am sure my cons list will go beyond the scope of this article. But, I am not here to scare my new working moms. After all this analysis, I had decided to take a break until my daughter starts to speak and can explain her day-to-day activities to me. This is my personal opinion because, with nuclear families, we have to put our faith in daycares. I decided to push my faith a little till I am convinced my child will be safe.
Personally, 3 months till the age of 3 are years when kids need 1:1 meaningful interaction. Good habits are formed during these years. A responsible and educated adult needs to be around them during this time. If you can have one of your parents to babysit your child until this age, nothing like it. But, if you are abroad or away from family, I would definitely recommend that you push the date with daycare a little more till your child can explain things to you.
These little tiny creatures are precious and they need to be independent enough for you to let them fly. Even after reading this blog, you feel that there is no other option and shifting priorities is not possible at all, I will suggest taking up a job closer to either set of grandparents and asking them to help out. And, last option as always is daycare, but your priorities need to be set such that the most precious thing in your life takes precedence – And we all know what that precious thing is.
