Food & Drink Magazine

Nigel Farage for President of the United Kingdom

By Richard Randall @aude11360

I think that it is about time we got rid of the Monarchy and became a Republic.
The Queen costs British taxpayers over £36 million a year via the Sovereign Grant. Plus, once you add the cost of security and miscellaneous items, I bet the bill is closer to £50 Million a year.
Buckingham Palace could be turned into a 5* Hotel, and a Presidential office set up in St James Palace. The revenues from the Buckingham Palace Hotel could then fund the office of the President of the United Kingdom.
Nigel Farage
Photo © Gage Skidmore
Nigel Farage would make a wonderful first President of the United Kingdom. Hell, even President for life.

Duties/Privileges/Decrees could include:

  • 25% discount for President Farage and his family in all British pubs. Also all pubs by law to have a life sized painting of President Farage holding a pint of ‘Real British Beer’.
  • President Farages’ face on the ‘entry denied’ stamp at U.K. immigration desks.
  • President Farage to appear on the £50 note waving a Union Jack flag.
  • All NHS staff to swear an ‘oaf’ (sic) to President Farage and Britishness.
  • Romania to be removed from all map, and its existence expunged from history.
  • British roads only to be used by British passport holders who are third generation British or more. A special permit for those not fitting this requirement at a cost of £50 a day to help fund more border guards.
  • All children born on the 3rd of April (President Farages’ birthday) must by law have Farage for a middle name, and a Union Jack tattoo.
  • Breast feeding to be banned in all public places. All infants found feeding from the breast in public will be forced to be chimney sweeps between the ages of 7-14.

Blog post by Richard Randall

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