Politics Magazine

Modern Koans – Can’t You See You’re Hurting Me?

By Andrew Furst @a_furst
CosmologyModern Koans is an ongoing series that recognizes that good questions are often more important then their answers.

The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man. ― G.K. Chesterton

 

Can’t You See You’re Hurting Me?

Question: Why are pain and suffering transparent to those who distribute it?

Response: First, I don’t think it is always the case that pain and suffering is transparent to those who distribute it.  I make decisions and ask people to do things that I know they won’t like.  For instance I’ll tell my son to clean his room.  He has an aversion to it, which I am acutely aware of, but I ask him to do it anyway.

For the cases where someone causes you to suffer and they seem oblivious, of course the answer is we cannot know what’s in the mind of others.  If you suffer at the hand of someone else, you have some responsibility to communicate to them about it. Of course we have to weigh our decision to do so with the potential outcome.  If you tell your boss that his demand that you do work causes you to suffer, you may loose your job.

Some people have extremely low empathy or are incredibly self-centered. Sometimes we may need to  expel these people from our lives. In other cases we can begin a steady dialog.

For me, a good rule is to look at communication as one part message and one part relationship. If you forget one, suffering often follows.

So the questions:
What responsibilities do others have to prevent our suffering?

What do you do about people you have to live with who hurt you?

What power do we have to change anything? 

 Get Each Week's Dialectic Two Step in your email box

First Name:

Last Name:

Email address:

In addition to a monthly email you can also subscribe to the following weekly series:
One Minute Meditations
Tiny Drops (Photography series)
Compass Songs (My Favorite Poems)
Dialectic Two-Step
Modern Koans (interesting questions)
Sunday Morning Coming Down (Music Videos)
Relics (Timeless Republished Articles)
Say What?
Quotes
Verse Us (Poems I Write)

  

The post Modern Koans – Can’t You See You’re Hurting Me? appeared on Andrew Furst.


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • The Verdi Project: Rigoletto

    Verdi Project: Rigoletto

    In which our composer creates a sensation and changes the world of opera, forever. by Paul J. Pelkonen Tito Gobbi (with Renata Scotto) looking suitably... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Superconductor
    CULTURE, THEATRE & OPERA
  • the Ship is Sinking

    Mishpacha Magazine (Hebrew edition) has been running an initiative recently promoting new young couples in the Haredi community take on their own mortgages... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Gldmeier
    RELIGION, SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Flower Power: Beyond the Beauty

    If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” – Lord Buddha. Life is a journey that is full of special moments; like... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Meet Rv
  • Dress To Impress! 5 Dresses For Your First Date

    Dress Impress! Dresses Your First Date

    Are you looking to make a great first impression on a new man when you show up for your first date with him? Are you conflicted as to how to dress, what... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Meet Rv
  • A RAINY DAY in VOLCANOES NATIONAL PARK, HAWAII

    RAINY VOLCANOES NATIONAL PARK, HAWAII

    In the Kilauea Iki Crater in Volcanoes National Park, HawaiiA week ago, on our trip to the Big Island of Hawaii, Art and I were hiking across what felt like a... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Carolinearnoldtravel
    TRAVEL
  • Congress Has Grilled Facebook CEO with Tough Questions Over Data Misuse

    Congress Grilled Facebook with Tough Questions Over Data Misuse

    Mark Zuckerberg has faced Serious Allegations on Facebook Data breaching Scandal in two days Congress testimony –as it happened. Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Ruby Mariah
    GADGETS, TECH
  • Video of the Week: Anatomy of the Toes

    Video Week: Anatomy Toes

    In this lesson, we will look at the anatomy of the toes. I will also discuss how your toes move, what their functions are, and which kinds of common problems... Read more

    The 23 April 2018 by   Ninazolotow
    FITNESS, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING