Politics Magazine

Is It Rude If You Don’t Keep Your Eye Contact When People Talk to You?

Posted on the 24 April 2018 by Calvinthedog

Answered on Quora.

You are not supposed to yell at someone over things like that, but then I am an introvert and I hardly yell at anyone over anything, even when I probably ought to.

On the other hand, an extrovert may well yell at you for something like that because, well, that’s just the way they ride. This is one of things that makes it hard for us introverts to get along with extroverts.

They’re always raising their voices, getting angry, sort of yelling, and blowing up a little bit. Then later on they act like nothing happened. I guess they do this as a matter of course with everyone they know. To us that seems mean and it also seems like there is something wrong with them, like they can’t control themselves very well.

Now we introverts, wow. I mean someone yells at us for no good reason? To us that means the whole relationship is over. We can go years without even raising our voices at a good friend or lover. We think if you ever raise your voice at someone, you better have a damn good reason.

Avoiding eye contact is a serious social violation, but some very shy people just do it that way. It tends to shut down most conversations on its own though. If I am talking to someone and they are avoiding eye contact with me, that conversation is going to be over pretty soon. I must say that if you go about avoiding eye contact with others regularly when you talk to them, you are committing social suicide.

To me, it’s rude to order someone to look me in the eyes. I would never say that. But then I am very reticent about confronting or engaging people in all sorts of adversarial ways. I am just not an aggressive person. Anyway, I have been told a lot that I don’t look people in the eye when I talk to them. Not so much anymore, more when I was young. I always thought I was looking them in the eye, but I guess I wasn’t, or maybe not enough!

I can be very soft-spoken myself, and people do ask me to repeat things fairly often. I would probably talk louder in that class. If someone was speaking so softly that I could not hear them, I would tell them to please speak up. But I would say it very nicely.

Often if you are in a quiet place, the other person will just start speaking softly too, and then you have two soft-spoken people conversing in a quiet environment. To us introverts, that’s a gloriously intimate event, one of life’s most special pleasures. There’s something very special about two friends speaking in very soft tones to each other in a quiet environment. It’s just you and then, alone together against the world. It’s beautiful, really, or at least to an introvert.

And if you are with a woman, and she starts speaking quietly along with you in a quiet place, that often means she’s up for something intimate and sexually oriented, so that’s another plus. By lowering her voice like that, she is lowering her guard and opening up her door or gate for you, so to speak. She’s also descending to a very intimate place with you. It would be unusual for her to do that with only platonic overtones.

Things are getting sexy, man! Bust a move, brothers! Go for it!


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