Love & Sex Magazine

Is It Better to Have Loved and Lost, Than Never to Have Loved at All?

By Barbarajpeters @CouplesAuthor

If you ask somebody who is deeply hurting after a break-up, the answer will probably be a resounding, in-your-face, NO!

Not all love relationships last. In fact, many will end in sadness and regret, and most of us will suffer from a broken heart at least once in our lives. 

When a relationship ends for you, do you embrace what it was or do you become hardened and swear you’ll never fall in love again, not ever? Can you take what was good and look back fondly to see how the relationship molded you into a better person? Can you appreciate what traits your partner encouraged in you?

Or are you obsessed and plagued with questions of why, why, why? Do you get caught up in what you might have done wrong or what he/she did wrong to destroy the relationship? Do you replay scenarios in your mind, creating happier endings? Does anger or revenge fill your thoughts and actions?

After the hurt subsides, most of us can’t help but think of the happiness and thrill even a failed relationship brought into our lives, and how we changed personally simply by spending time deeply in love and committed to another person. It may take awhile to get to this point, but it is a healthy place to be.

It definitely is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  Think of what you would have missed!

Love is a wonderful emotion and to capture and enjoy its warmth even for a brief time is a gift. Love is what gives us purpose; it is what gives us hope; it is what gives us significance.

When I work with individuals who have recently divorced or have terminated a meaningful and deep relationship, I encourage them to look for what they gained from being in the relationship, even though it may have altered course along the way. Sometimes holding a symbolic mirror and looking deep into it will reflect lessons learned about personal limitations and the need for individual growth, as well as revealing unknown strengths and purposes. These are the markers for success in future relationships.

In any and every union, there will always be something to celebrate on the path to finding someone with whom to share our lives, hopes, and dreams in a love infused future

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