Family Magazine

If You Want to Borrow My Children for a Free Meal........please Inbox Me.

By Accidentalxpert @AccidentalXpert
Thursday. 3 days after Monday Cleaning Day I am still surrounded by a dirty house. Today I am tired and it all is a bit over whelming to look at. I washed a few dishes even tho I have a perfectly fine dishwasher. I owe this to my mother-in-law, Diane. I have never known this woman to use a dishwasher in the 8 years I have known her on a personal level. I have never ask her her reasons for not using a perfectly good dishwasher but,I think they would probably be much like mine. You don't have to wash off spots or left over dried food. Hand washing is much milder on pots, pans, stoneware and tupperware. And whats the point of running a dish washer 3 times to clean a plate that eventually has to soak in dishwater and be washed by hand anyway? Diane, you would be happy to know the love of hand washing dishes has rubbed off on me.  This was not supposed to be a entry on washing dishes.  This was supposed to be a entry on the wild hair I got on Evyn's 2nd birthday.
January 5th. I loaded up all the boys and headed to town after school. Very rarely do I feel patient, loving and kind enough to take all four kids anywhere. On this particular day I was filled with love, guts and glory. I made my mind up to take all of them to Coltons for supper. It was Evyn's 2nd birthday and by golly someone was going to bring him cake and sing to that child! I decided Coltons was my better option of the sit down restaurants in Glasgow because the kids could eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor. Don't laugh. Unless you have more than one child you cannot possibly fathom the panning that goes into a outing with 4 children.
Entering places together makes me nervous. I am a "first impressions" kinda gal. If you screw up the first minute with me you have officially gained nothing but the stink eye from me for eternity.
I would prefer to enter places with Danny. I do not like the idea of going somewhere with my herd and people thinking I am a single mother.  No disrespect to the fabulous single mothers I know. They work hard. Unfortunately I know a few single Mothers who play harder and forget they have children. When I am out with this bunch alone, I think their thoughts probley go something like this. "Look at that woman. She has 4 kids. Oh my gawd. They are all boys. I bet they have different Daddy's. Probaley just had all those kids to live off the government. Look, she is flashing that wedding band like she wants us to see it. It's probley just a ploy. I'd bet money she sits home on her arse and watches soaps all day while living off child support and food stamps". You get the idea.....
We sit at our booth, which I requested. Peyton traps Eli in the inside and I trap Zac. Evyn is the head of our table in a high chair. Right off the bat the fight begins over the one bucket of peanuts. 4 kids. One bucket. Shit, it didn't enter my mind that this would be a issue. They must have planned this maneuver on the way here to throw me off my game. Sneaky little herd.
We order our drinks. Eli demands root beer in a bottle. The waitress very kindly looks at me and says "there are no free refills on bottles. It's be a better idea for him to pick another soft drink to save you a little." I agreed with this woman. Not because I cared to pay for a second flippen bottle of root beer for Eli but because I knew he only wanted a bottle because the man next to us was enjoying a Bud. Eli just wanted to feel old. I knew this. He was irritated that I ask for a coke for him, and that she agreed to bring it. When she turned to walk away he threw his peanut shells over her head.
Ordering the food was no walk in the park. It was late afternoon and Eli's AD/HD meds were wearing thin in his little ornery body. He threw a fit when I made him and Pey half a full order of ribs as opposed to buying two half orders and paying double. Of course the waitress witnessed these fits of rage.
In the end Evyn got his ice cream float and a song. Zackary cried because he wanted it to be his birthday. The waitress brought him one, too. Eli was a disaster. His ribs were not cooperating and getting his hands too dirty for his liking. The 4x4 hand wipes they brought just didn't cut it.  Poor Pey. He had been helping me keep Evyn seated and was worn out. I feel confident these trips are great birth control for Pey. I don't feel like he will ever go uncovered later in life (much later I hope) after our Coltons trip.  Throw in some normal bickering among brothers and you've got a recipe for embarrassment.
The waitress brought me my ticket and informed me she didn't charge me for several items. Wonderful. This poor woman thinks we crawled out from under a rock to eat out on this child's birthday. She felt bad for charging me. I bet she thought I was spending diaper money so these kids could have their first sit down meal. 5 people ate that night at a steak house for under 30 bucks. Suckers!!!

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