This post is an anonymous guest post
It all started when I was 11, I was sexually molested by a friends brother whilst I was asleep. I woke up but pretended to be asleep petrified Ive never told a soul to this day. Then when I was 13 my family was sat in the living room and my dad was looking for things behind the sofa and he found my middle brother’s soiled pants, my dad made a joke of it and my mom asked him why they was there. I should say My little brother has adhd and aspergurs. That being said I have tourettes, when I was in primary school the headmaster im going to tell you about used to pull my hair and single me out and basically bully me I was that scared of him for the first 2 years I wouldn’t go into the hall to eat dinner.
When I was diagnosed with tourettes he said I wasn’t disabled that i was just a lazy child I had to move schools when I reached year5 cause I couldn’t take it any more. Well back to the day when we found my brothers pants. He wouldn’t have been much older than 8, he ran from the living room in pieces so I gave chase after him as me and him are close. He told me that he hid them because he was scared what mom and dad would say. So I asked him what about. These words still haunt me to this day. I’m scared what the will say about why I did it. The headmaster and his wife got me in a room and pulled my thumb out my mouth and slammed my hands on the table and shouted in my face and I pooed myself cause I was scared.
As you can imagine it was hard for a 13y old to hear that coming from one of the closest people in my life I then I had to take him down to my mom and dad and help him explain to them what had happened. I’m not sure what happened after that as I was only young, but a few weeks after my other brother got ocd he would have too touch all sides of a door or if he bumped into you he had to do it with the other side of his body, we didn’t realize how serious it was until one day I found him in his bedroom matress’s of the beds and the bed stood on one end and another up the wall.
He was snappy and nasty with me which he was such a loving boy before, so I knew something was wrong but I left him to it. My mums friend came round and asked what the banging was so my mom explained. (this woman had to move her son from the same school as he was also bullied by the headmaster for having disabilities) after a while me and my mums friend went up to bring him down he had basically barricaded himself in the room with mattresses and cupboards but we managed to get in just as we did he darted to the open window.
He was about to try and kill himself, but why we didn’t know. Luckily we got to him before he got 100% out the window and he spilled everything. He was in assembly and the headmaster singled my middle brother out grabbed him by the back of his collar and dragged him to the front and made him sit next to his feet whilst he was playing the piano and he kept kicking him the eldest brother saw but was to scared to do anything and that’s why his ocd got worse to the point where he tried too kill himself. By this point SS was involved the police where and everyone else you can think of was too.
My middle brother and the youngest brother was moved schools. And the whole village was torn in 2 but nothing seemed to be happening the headmaster was still in school it had been leaked who it was making the claim and some parents started doing petitions too keep him as headmaster. 6 months passed and nothing had changed he was still in school and we was still the ad people we wasn’t allowed out my mom couldn’t leave the house without abuse.
Then one day me my mom a friend and mu mums friends went to watch green day and left my dad at home with my brothers and my grandma. My dad went to the pub and someone started saying things about it not being true this person was family and my dad ended up putting him through a glass cabinet. Nothing came of it cause people said it didn’t happen. After that we sold out house to a property company for 70 grand less then what it was worth.
I moved to scunthorpe we then heard news that another boy had been abuse but this time people saw it and started resigning, but he still didn’t get kicked out he just went into early retirement. A hero in peoples eyes. But scum in others. Our life’s still didn’t get any easier when I was 14 I was raped by my boyfriend who lived 5 houses away I was silly I put myself in a vulnerable position of sleeping at his house. We didn’t report it as I had already missed 1 1/2 years of school and we had lost faith in the justice system.
My dad didn’t find out for ages afterwards until one day the lads whole family was walking down the street gearing at my mom as she was walking back from walking the dog then my dad came out the house stood behind my mom on our door step and she shouted at least my son isn’t a rapist. I will never forget my dads face when he realize what had happened. I then ended up having fights at school teachers said it was cause people was jealous cause I was pretty I just thought it was cause I was always bullied 2 fights later and I was in drama class at the end of the day. I felt something wasn’t right so I did as I was told to do.
Go tell the deputy headmaster, he just said your being silly and just smile sweetly at them. I went back to class shaking. When the bell went I was relieved. Getting my coat the bully and her friend went past and pushed my head into the coat hook with that I snapped and thought sod it I’m not a door mat. I grabbed her hood and beat the crap out of her, people were trying too pull me off her. In the end I just got up and walked of with the teacher shouting get here we need too sort this out I just told her to fuck off or I’m going too miss my bus. I got home and got death threats. My mom and dad sent me too school then next day I got to my first class and the deputy head walked in and told me to bring my things he took me to the green room (where misbehaving kids go) and left an hour later he came back and told me to bring my things.
So following him I saw my dad and all i thought was oh shit he looks mad. He grabbed my had and turned back to look at the teacher and said if my daughter wasn’t hear I would have killed you. 6 months on I started my new school and everything was fine. I met my partner Michael just as I was doing my gcse’s through an old friend. He drove me to my limo for prom and him and my dad then went and got drunk. I got a call saying he had gone home but when I walked in he was laid on the sofa and we have basically lived together since. Except for when we broke up when I was halfway through collage as he was too possessive. In collage it was good till just after me and Michael broke up and the everything changed.
I got death threats and told never to go back to collage. So I left early without grades. Only too meet back up with the love of my life. I went back to collage and did a computer course and passed it and made some good friends 6 months after I found out I was pregnant and we was over the moon until it was plagued with hyperemesis(bad sickness) I was hospitalised 2x at 6 months i felt good just for life to throw another curve ball at me my parents next door neighbours had just beaten them up the neighbours when my mom did everything for babysat cleaned and much more. All cause the kids fell out. They moved away and I became ill.
I was sick again dizzy and admitted myself to hospital feeling fine later on I discharged myself but had to collect 48hour urine sample and had to go for a scan and a dr appointment. On the day of my scan we decided to let the mil come as she had always wanted to. Except I was rushed straight from the scan to the maternity ward as my baby was too small he was born the next morning at 9.42 10 weeks early weighing only 2lb 1oz and on nicu for 6 weeks 6 days and i was alone for all of the stay on nicu as my partner was working away so we didn’t loose our house.
I was alone for the first night and oh got home the following day everything was perfect until fast forward 6 months the oh came back from working away and he received a text from a woman from Kent where he had been working that asked why he wasnt texting back he said it was a friend missus who couldnt text her fella cause she had had him locked up so I forgot about it for 10 mins and then she text him saying his full name. He was about to delete it until I stopped him n then the bombshell hit. Was he cheating so I took his phone and text this lass asking what had happened. She text back explaining so in rage I rang her and I kicked off saying she ever saw him again I would be on the first train down there and I would kill her.
She then sent a text saying asking my partner what happened, he was all over her luckily enough his mates told me what had happened and that it wasn’t him, it was a friend who had gave her his name and number instead of his so we moved on. Then fast forward a few week we lost our house and found a house to rent for 150 a month we are still living here but now trying to move as our neighbor is a bitch and is forcing us to move out. She has rang the council about our dog saying hes left 24/7 even though I’m a house wife and don’t go out cause of my demons and he barks all day and night.. Which he doesn’t cause I’m always home.
On the day we received the letter I got a knock on the door at 9.30 at night thinking it was Michael messing around I opened it to find the police, letting them in laughing I said is this about my dog and the said no we have had a call from a neighbor saying she has heard me shouting and screaming at my son. But as the police soon found out after I woke my son up that there was no marks on him and that I was shouting at the dog as he was jumping on the sofa and eating the leather. That was on the 6th of this month. Fortunately we haven’t had any bother since but still want out. I’m hoping this is the first step of me over coming my demons And to finally allow myself to relax and realize no matter how bad life gets there is always someone who can pick me up. Thank you for spearing your time to read the story of my life
