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The past couple of years have been really hard. Starting with my daughter who landed up in hospital with what looked like a fit when in hospital she became very unresponsive and had to have 6 in total lumba punchers plus blood tests scans etc. then was told we could lose her! I was so scared this little bundle of joy that made me so happy might not be with us any more the fear I had, I loved this little angel so much.
My world was crashing down. They put antibiotics in in case it was an infection after she had this she seemed to get better thank god!!! now i look at the mess in my front room, toys every where and thank the heavens she is here. Then a year later my wonderful fiancé got really ill, lost so much weight in a couple of weeks couldn’t keep anything in, started bleeding out of his privates and out his back passage, was being sick all the time, more weight was coming off,he could barely stand and was as white as a sheep went to the doctors and we were told they believe its a stomach tumour.
What? I couldn’t believe it! for weeks he was getting worse I even was planning his funeral had to have my mom come live with us as I couldn’t cope. so enough was enough I called an ambulance, test after test was done on him to find out he has a long life disease called ulcerative colitis which is a inflammatory bowel disease. I couldn’t believe it all that worry of a tumour. He was in hospital in total a month, all his states were dropping was told he could suffer a heart attack his liver might fail so on, i was so scared, this amazing loving man in my life is in hospital with all this pain and I could lose him?
Why us?
What have we done to have such horrible luck?
They had him on so many different drips and pills he was on morphine as well, then finally was put on steroids to lower the inflammation in his bowel and it was working. He has been out of hospital for a year but still has bleeding and sometimes cant keep anything in and also always in pain, its now affected his joints and muscles he can barely go up and down stairs. So he now has an appointment to see a surgeon to have his bowel and colon out so he will have to have a stoma (a bag on the out side of his body to have bowel movements) as his back passage will not be in use.
We now have a little boy, when I was in early stage of pregnancy I was admitted into hospital with what they believed was a ectopic, I couldn’t believe it more bad luck for us why? may sound silly but im the kind of person once I know I am pregnant “its a baby” I know a lot of people don’t think that way till a certain week but that’s just me. I had a scan and they couldn’t see anything but my bloods come back that my HCG level was so high that they should have been able to see my baby, so the told me that they don’t believe the baby was there in the first place didn’t develop, I was mortified.
I was told to come back in just over a week to see if my insides are OK. so went home cried every night then that day came and had to have another internal scan so there i was laying on the table not looking at the screen my fiancé holding my hand, then the best words came from the lady checking me ” I know you were not expecting this but can you see that pulsing/flashing bit? that’s your babies heart!!!!”
Me and my fiancé broke down in tears I was so happy I just couldn’t believe it. I was 8weeks +2 days. The weeks seemed to go by so slow I couldn’t wait to see my baby again. Then come my 20 week scan I was so excited but scared as well, found out I was having a healthy baby boy, yet again the tears came. On the 19th august at 5.30pm come the pain “its time im telling my mom and other half” i was so excited I wanted to hold my baby boy, got to the hospital was told i was 3/4 cms already. I was so happy, the pain got worse then I needed the epidural so the midwife checked me to my surprise at just gone 11pm I was what she described 9 and 3quaters cms???
I didn’t understand what she meant, she described it as a clock to me like iv gone all way but just a bit left OK so I managed to have the epidural and then hit 10cms and was told to push. I was pushing for what seemed forever, then was told I had to go into theater for a possible c-section yet again that’s what happened with my daughter but they got her out with forceps.
While in theater I asked if I could try again before they agreed my heart rate was dropping and I was low on oxygen.
. I did it, there he was this 8lbs 8oz of pure happiness my life was completed that moment, had my gorgeous girl now my little man.
But as they both grow im reminded that there is a big chance that they could also carry the ulcerative colitis and it scares me, the thought of them landing up in hospital with drips in it really worries me I hate the idea of them in any pain, and having to have a operation to remove their bowel im so worried……..
