Here To Help – Here To Care
The Milk Of Human Kindness
Aunty Bill,
My mom sold me to the milkman in order to buy a shoe horn the other week.
Do you think she is trying to tell me something? I weigh 87 stone and recently ate our roof by mistake. It made a healthy alternative to cheese in a sandwich.
Yvonne, Winchester
Aunty Bill Replies;
Dear Yvonne
The shoehorn is merely a metaphor for shoe horning you out of the door and out of her life (although at 87 stone she’s got a job on her hands and will need a bigger horn or lots of smaller ones).
At least she sold you to a milkman.
Milkmen (and women) have over the years demonstrated a deep affection for fat people. Before the days of the milkfloat, they could be seen across Britain pulling the wagon while milkmen jumped on and off delivering the nation’s favorite drink.
Hopefully he will put you to work and you’ll see the pounds fall away and be in a position to replace the roof over you dear old mum’s head which you so thoughtlessly ate.
Chink! Chink!
AB
