HOW DO I OVERCOME FEELING INSECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP? My name is Coach Natalie, and I'm a relationship coach, and I have dedicated my life to helping people like you answer questions like this. I have coached thousands of people throughout the course of my career and the reason I'm committing to this project - HAPPILY COMMITTED - the reason I started this project - HAPPILY COMMITTED - was because I fundamentally believe that with the right approach you can stay committed for the long run That you can grow alongside your partner instead of growing apart from your partner like anyone in a long term relationship. It's normal to know that not every day is easy. We don't always feel sexy, we don't always feel confident we don't always know what's gonna happen next.
We're nervous. What is he feeling?Does he still like us? Does he still want to sleep with us? Does he still want to commit to us? All of these questions over time can start to chip at our self-esteem and before you know it or feeling really insecure.
HOW DO I OVERCOME FEELING INSECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP? My name is Coach Natalie, and I'm a relationship coach, and I have dedicated my life to helping people like you answer questions like this. I have coached thousands of people throughout the course of my career and the reason I'm committing to this project - HAPPILY COMMITTED - the reason I started this project - HAPPILY COMMITTED - was because I fundamentally believe that with the right approach you can stay committed for the long run That you can grow alongside your partner instead of growing apart from your partner like anyone in a long term relationship. It's normal to know that not every day is easy. We don't always feel sexy, we don't always feel confident we don't always know what's gonna happen next.
We're nervous. What is he feeling?Does he still like us? Does he still want to sleep with us? Does he still want to commit to us? All of these questions over time can start to chip at our self-esteem and before you know it or feeling really insecure.
So I wanted to make this video for you at home to help you find the right ways to overcome feeling insecure in your relationship so that you can stay HAPPILY COMMITTED to the person that you love the most. When it comes to overcoming insecurity there's a very humongous thing that I'm about to share with you that will make all the difference in how you handle this moving forward. That thing is this: if you're insecure in your relationship you're really just insecure with you. I know. It's frustrating you just want to think that your partner is the reason you're insecure.
That he did something that makes you feel insecure and because of what he did or said now you're second-guessing yourself. It is so much simpler than that. It's so simple it doesn't even involve two people. It involves one - YOU. If you're insecure in this relationship is because you believe he might be able to find someone better.
You believe he might be able to find someone sexier, cooler, more compatible and it is those fears that propel your anxiety forward and encourage it to grow. And unless you tackle this insecurity, unless you overcome these fears, it can spiral out of control, and it can lead you to do and feel ridiculous things. It can make you call him incessantly, it can make you never leave him alone, it can make you go through his phone and second-guess all the things that he tells you. So my recommendation to you if you're trying to overcome insecurity in a relationship, is to really plunge into who you are and why you feel this way. I think of a client that I have in California who when I first began working with her she was really insecure that her boyfriend was gonna cheat.
She knew it. She said, "Coach Natalie if he's not already cheating he's gonna cheat." In the beginning it was because he was always out late. Throughout the course of our work together we discovered that it was because she felt overweight. She felt as though she had lost control over her physical appearance because she was so damn stressed at work and was too tired to go to the gym, was too tired to cook lunch when she got home at night, and instead would grab fast food through the drive-thru at lunchtime. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months eventually turned into a really shitty self-esteem.
So our original goal was to help her encourage him to come home. But this goal radically changed shape and it changed direction. And instead of it being pointed at him, it was pointed at her. We developed a strategy to make her feel sexier in her own skin and believe it or not it was by focusing on her that one session she came to me and she said, "Coach Nat, he's not doing anything.
I feel sexier than ever, he's never been more attracted to me." And that's not because of how she looked physically. It's because of how she felt emotionally in the relationship. People are attracted to people who are attracted to themselves. The more into yourself you are, the more worthy of love you feel you deserve, the more love you will get, the more eyes will stare at you.
And that's exactly what happened to my client in California - and that can happen to you. So many people feel insecure because of what another man did to them. I've been there.
You date a man that mistreats you and now you assume all men will mistreat you. And even before they do you're already ready for when they will. "Okay, well he hasn't cheated on me yet but he will one day because so-and-so did. He will one day because that time I dated that guy, I was mistreated." And now you're punishing your current boyfriend or husband for the crime another man committed. That doesn't sound fair, does it?
NO. And if you're gonna make him be punished for something another man did, how was he supposed to fix that? You can't.
So what does that mean for your relationship? It means you're setting it up to fail. If you're putting a variable entirely outside of his control, for him to fix, it sounds to me like your expectations are unrealistic, that your insecurity will grow, and the love you share will shrink. Be proactive. Don't worry about your partner yet.
Focus on you first. If you want to eliminate insecurities in your relationship, eliminate the insecurities with you first. I invite you to start there, and then see where you go.
If you end up elevating your own self-esteem, eliminating your personal insecurities, and working on your confidence, and you're still not happy with your partner or your relationship, come back to this video and leave me a comment. Let me know what's going on. But more often than not, our relationships are just reflections of how we feel about ourselves.
As crazy as it sounds and as annoying as it sounds sometimes it's easier to displace blame. It's easier to say it's your fault because that means we've got less work to do. But usually that work is all on us. I would love to hear about the insecurity that you're facing in your relationship, whether or not working on yourself is helping, whether or not you've address this with your partner, fill us in.
The more you share with me the more that I can help and I've dedicated my life to this because this is what gives me purpose, and this is what brings me joy, and I'm so thankful to be able to tell you that so many people around the world find success with the tips that we provide on this channel. They find success in their relationships and in the relationships that they have with themselves through simple tips like this. So if you like what you're seeing and you relate to this content, hit the subscribe button so that we can give you the preventive tips and tools that you can use to keep your relationship stable, to keep it growing, to keep it healthy, and to keep yourself HAPPILY COMMITTED. So, this is coach Natalie. Thank you for tuning in and I look forward to seeing you in the comments section below and don't forget to go to happilycommitted.com to see all of our offerings, from blog articles, products, packages, we have you covered to help you see the results that you're looking for.
Thank you!
