Diaries Magazine

How Multiple Food Storage Devices Nearly Caused Me to Partake in Carnage by Frozen Steak

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Also known as the day my domestic goddessness was seriously called into question.
The other day, I did a scary, stupid, smart, thrifty, savvy, idiotic thing.

Firstly, I wrote out a weekly meal planner.  I blame Glowless.  She made me do it because way back when we were talking while sucking back BYO booze on our flight home from Radelaide, she said that she does a weekly meal planner, and even though she doesn't claim to have a pantry free of excess crap, she sticks to it and it works.

How multiple food storage devices nearly caused me to partake in carnage by frozen steak

And no, it was not like this.  Perish the thought!
This is actually my holiday meal planner.

So I made a menu plan for the week and then I went out and bought everything for the weekly meals. Then I got home and found over 50% of it already in the pantry.  The remainder was already in my freezer. Did I mention that I did all of this while #1Hubby was home, after bragging about how I was going to save us sooooo much money, enough that we could afford another trip to Bali and bottled wine for special occasions.  I seriously went to town, talking up how life changing this one piece of paper, this meal planner was going to be. #1Hubby was all self righteous about all the lecturing he dares to do about how "we don't need much..." every single time I go food shopping.

Of course, if he was left to do the shopping, he would indeed return home with less than me - his half trolley load consisting of chocolate bars, frozen meals, meat pies and soft drink.  And crazy expensive disposable razors in place of the mid-range ones I buy for him.

I said something about mothers and truckers, but not that, something that sounds similar. Then I stomped around the house, slamming the pantry door, slamming the back door as I went out to the holy grail that is the drinks fridge in the garage...where I found even more food mingling with the booze, chillaxing in the freezer compartment. This is all in addition to the overfilled freezer in the kitchen, and the pantry that looks like a bomb site, a very generously stocked bomb site. And the groceries I'd just bought but had no space to put away.

How multiple food storage devices nearly caused me to partake in carnage by frozen steak

Can you guess which one is mine, and which one I wish was mine?

So then I made a list of everything in the freezers and the pantry. Then I sat down with my weekly menu planner and extended it until I'd accounted for every single item in the freezer. I didn't even get through everything in the pantry, but I had to stop because, bar fresh fruit and veg, I've got our meals covered until after Easter. I shit you not.  I've got enough frozen meat etc. to sustain a family of 5 until late April. #1Hubby is so freaking smug and outraged all at once, and I am dying to wipe the smirk off his face...by grabbing a frozen steak and slapping him about the face with it.  Then I'll grab another one and slap the other side of his face with it.  Then I'll grab a few more and cook those for dinner.  And then I'll still have a number of steaks left in the freezer for next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and... The good news is, that I'll be saving soooo much on my bi-daily  daily  weekly grocery shopping that I'll be able to spend it on something else.  As a matter of fact, I've already bought Miss6 and Miss3 their 13th birthday gifts after simply glancing at the junk mail catalogues, lamenting the fact that I no longer need to pore over the grocery catalogues, and settling on the jewelry store catalog that was having a super impressive sale that I simply could not afford to miss.

I swear to Vodka, it would've been sacrilege to pass up the impressive deal that will most likely be completely out of fashion by the time my girls hit teenagerhood.

How multiple food storage devices nearly caused me to partake in carnage by frozen steak

This excites me

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