Midlife Friends, Have you planned your endgame yet? How are you rolling out of this life? I have researched it for you so sit back, grab a cocktail and let’s plan your funeral! (Not weird at all huh?)
With the passing of my 100 year old grandmother last year, I decided to research options. Hers was very traditional with a beautiful casket, off key singer of hymns and a pastor preaching about death. Then we drive to the burial site and lowered her into the ground. This got me thinking, I may not live to 100 so I best start planning. Oh and there will be margaritas involved.
My mom wants a full on wedding funeral. What is that you ask? The beautiful pricey casket, a choir of angel singers and the possibility of Billy Graham coming back to life to give her eulogy. I get it though. It’s old skool and what everyone is used to. Me, I’d rather not have all the usual stuff and people crying and saying nice things about me after they have spent their whole lives talking smack about me, well it’s not what I envision as my endgame. So here’s what I have found to replace the traditional:
- Become a Tree: Organic Burial Pod. Website: Organic Burial Pods: Everything You Need to Know (greenmatters.com) This is where your body goes into a “pod” that is biodegradable then a young tree is planted above the pod and the roots take hold. You are now a tree.
- Mummification: Yep, it’s still a thing if you want to be preserved. I can’t make this stuff up.
- Cryogenic Freezing: You get frozen then when they find the fountain of youth and are able to transform you to a healthy persona again, they revive you. Think of the worst frozen fish left in the freezer and when you thaw it out, it’s so disgusting. This is not on my list. Nope.
- Dreamed of going to Space one day? Now you can be “buried” in space. Yes this is real. I guess the space force will have to take your body up and throw it out in space. We can’t even keep our planet clean so let’s just throw dead bodies out in space on purpose. For. The. Love.
- Out to Sea: Wrapped up with a rock tied to your leg and left as shark food. No thanks! But there is an option to become part of a coral reef in the sea. Google that one!
- 3-D printable. Your ashes can become a tree ornament or just about anything else. Again, can’t make this up!
There are many more options out there to google. Just takes time and stamina to get through them all. But I do have my funeral plans! Cremation to cheap container then my kids can dump me on the sand at my favorite beach. (Note: Out to sea dumping is ok with ashes, on land you have to find ash friendly areas). Then my kids can invite any friends that are left alive to hang out by a fire on the beach, play 80’s tunes, dance and drink margaritas in my honor. This plan is inexpensive and fun.
What are your plans?
Here’s the checklist I promised:
And you thought Funeral were morbid and not fun!
