Athletics Magazine

Give Me Five (+ What NOT To Say To Flat Chested Women)

By Brisdon @shutuprun

I’ve long been a card carrying (shirt carrying?) member of this club:

Give Me Five (+ What NOT To Say To Flat Chested Women)

I wore this shirt proudly in middle school, and my mom even gave me a spin-off of this shirt when I turned 40, just for old time’s sake:


I know some women take it really personally that people consider them small breasted. I am not one of them. It really doesn’t bother me. The only – and I mean the only – time I wish my boobs were bigger is when I am getting in a bathing suit or party dress and would like cleavage for an hour or two. Maybe I will go on Shark Tank with an idea called “Rent-a-Cleavage” and make a million dollars. Or, get yelled at by Mark Cuban.

Yes, I remember being taunted by the boys in middle and high school for being so flat. Funny thing is, I found it kind of endearing. It made me feel like their kid sister or something. I was also a gymnast, so having little to no boobs was considered a bonus. Who wants to get hit in the face with fleshy melons when you’re trying to do a bar routine?

Now that I am older and athletic, call me crazy, but I still prefer the no-boob thing. Yes, every once in awhile I’d like to turn someone’s head and have them think I have a rockin’ body (based on cup size). But, I suppose I’ve made peace with that now that I’m almost 46. Ain’t gonna happen. The best I can do is make my body the best it can be given what I was given, right?

Why all this boob talk? Yesterday in the Huffington Post there was an article about what NOT to say to flat chested women.


Let’s see. How many of these have been said to me before? And, then some. Guess, what? I don’t care one bit. I work hard to take care of my body and to keep it healthy. I work hard to build muscle and endurance. I work hard to be getting older and to still wear a bikini (whether I should or not – according to this I should not).

I was really struck by Francelina this week when she got voted off The Biggest Loser. I LOVED how confident she was in herself. I loved how she made you feel like YOU would be lucky to know her. Somehow she did this without the slightest bit of ego or big-headedness. I like a girl who can get behind herself and say “I deserve that. I’m good at that. I’m worth it” without worrying that others will think she’s a bitch or entitled or conceited.

In my job I do interviews with people and gather their personal histories. I am trying to gauge how their experiences have affected them over the long term. I ask literally 5 million questions during these three hour sessions. Want to know what the most difficult question is for people? Not if they were abused or had an alcoholic parent or got pregnant when they were 15. The toughest question is “Can you please give me a few adjectives to describe yourself?” Everyone freezes. Most people literally cannot give me more than one or two words, and usually these are things with negative connotations like, “I am a worrier” or “I am controlling.”

I think it’s hard for people to describe themselves (although in one second they can give you 20 adjectives about their spouse or kids) because:

  1. We’re hardly ever asked to do it
  2. We think far more about the qualities we like in others than those we like in ourselves
  3. We don’t want  to appear full of ourselves.

Seems we’ve forgotten how to build ourselves up, to really like ourselves for all of the positive qualities we possess. We spend so much time focusing on self improvement and what we think we are lacking, we forget to pat ourselves on the back for all of what we are.

Go ahead ask me to describe myself. Today I’d say I’m:

Determined, smart, funny, a good mother, dependable, a decent writer, an athlete, organized and compassionate

So what if I’m flat chested?

Tell me five words that describe you. And, don’t say you don’t know.


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