Funniest Sailor Rescue Story of the Year

You might not believe me on this, but it's true - and it's the most bizarre sailor rescue story I've heard in a long time. A distraught sailor called Sweden's emergency services a couple days ago to report that his wife had fallen overboard and he was unable to find her and she was feared drowned. With this terrible tragedy in mind, the rescue team rushed to his aid, and found the Swedish sailor very drunk - perhaps because he was so distraught about his poor wife? Turns out, however, his wife had not been on board at all - she had stayed on shore when he put to sea. Perhaps he had drank even more than he'd thought. He was towed to shore and arrested after being given a breathalyzer test. (In Sweden, the same blood alcohol level is used to determine drunken boating as for drunken driving, not a bad idea.) The Swedish news service did not state what the sailor said upon discovering his wife was still alive, or upon discovering that he had been arrested. You can use your imagination about that.