Can gay men ever be “one of the guys” or “one of the boys” with us straight men?
I am profoundly dubious, as being “one of the guys” is so wrapped up in masculinity and heterosexuality that it is hard to see how a gay man fits in.
Being “one of the boys” means:
Masculinity: Acting masculine at least in a sense in accordance with the social rules that govern this behavior,
Homophobia: Extreme revulsion and disgust for homosexuality such that no feeling like that can ever be stated or acknowledged, not even 1%.
Heterosexuality: Heterosexual orientation alone is great, but you get so many more points if it is actually shown that you can get laid and get women. The more women you get and the hotter they are, the more “one of the boys” points you get. If you are a stud, player, womanizer or ladies man, you can even become a sort of “hero” in straight male society because honestly it is quite hard to be a player. Only a few men can really be true players, and the vast majority simply cannot pull it off. Women just don’t make it easy. That so few men can play this role is shown by how many men move in with or marry more or less the first woman who gives them regular sex. Most men marry for sex, not love. Hate to disappoint you, ladies, but it’s just true. Take it from a man.
