Humor Magazine

But at Least the Monster Raving Greenie Party Give Us a Laugh

By Davidduff

Thanks to Guido we now have the election manifesto from the Green Party - look, don't start sniggering until I've told you!  It is a gem, literally priceless because no-one could ever afford it.  If even one Greenie is returned to parliament after this excerpt from the Monty Python Show then I may be forced to consider seriously moving to Australia - yeeeeeeees, quite!  Anyway, hang on to your hats, here it is:

“a complete ban on cages for hens and rabbits” [Look, I said no laughing!]

  • “end the use of the whip in horse racing and conduct a full review of the sport”
  • “end the practice of grouse shooting”
  • “ensure UK taxpayers’ money is not used for bullfighting”
  • “ban the import of fur products”
  • “ensure that all schools, hospitals and other public buildings have solar panels by 2020″
  • “closure of all coal-fired power stations”
  • “make equality and diversity lessons mandatory in all schools”
  • “progressively introduce anonymised CVs”
  • “strengthen Travellers’ rights”
  • “cancelling student debt”
  • “revive the role of trade unions”
  • “phase in a 35 hours week”
  • “work for the abolition of the City of London Corporation”
  • “introduce a wealth tax of 2% on the top 1%”
  • “raise the additional top rate of income tax to 60%”
  • “increase corporation tax from 20% to 30%”
  • “introduce new taxes on the use of water”
  • “ensure that no company owns more than 20% of a media market”
  • “state funding of political parties”
  • “pursue a policy of defensive defence, which threatens no one”
  • “a ban on the production and sale of fois gras”

Oh my giddy aunt, please, no more, my sides are splitting!  Guido, of course, in his usual helpful manner offers some very useful advice:

If anyone fancies lunch, the duck and fois gras burger at Comptoir Gascon is delicious…

 


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