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Blood Bytes: Best True Blood Quotes 5.09 – ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’

Posted on the 10 August 2012 by Thevault @The_Vault

Blood Bytes: Best True Blood Quotes 5.09 – ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’

Something we enjoy to do each week is to pull out the True Blood quotes that we think are the best from each episode. The criteria for a quote to make our list is that the it must stand on it’s own when taken out of context.

In episode 9, “Everybody Wants To Rule The World,” two story-lines finally ended and now we can focus on the vampires. There were so many good quotes this episode,  I just can’t pick one.  Let us know which quote is your favorite.  

Here are the other memorable quotations from this episode:

Steve Newlin: There once was cock and a hen who gave lunch to a goose in a pen. Good Lord said the goose, bless this food for our use and to us to thy service, Amen.

Eric: I’m a 1000 years older than you, put the baby fangs away before you piss me off.

Eric: I don’t speak techie, translate.

Molly: We’re totally, fucking fucked.

Lafayette: I ain’t Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, although I’m way prettier.

Lafayette: I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches, send your own God Damn messages.

Pam: We’re going to do what every sane vampire in this country is going to do, pretend to still be drinking this shit, like good little main-streamers, and in private, we discretely feed on humans.

Pam: There are two things I try to stay away from, humans that eat fish and politics. So whatever comes next, we are keeping our heads down, our tits up and the Tru Blood flowin’.

Pam: Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gail. Get the fuck back to work.

Tara: Suck me, Vampire Barbie.

Eric: Hey, I have a great idea, why don’t we blow up all the Tru Blood factories and start a civil war, Praise Lilith!

Bill: I am lost, I don’t know who to trust. Everything I believed in has been turned upside down.

Eric: We’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God.

Lafayette: Shit knows, Nancy Drew.

Lafayette: Dead folk, why you gotta be so cryptic? It ain’t cute.

Jason: Don’t let her out of your sight, I don’t care if she’s sleeping or takin’ a dump.

Jason: Being a vampire sure has got it’s perks, the no dumpin’ and all, but being deep fried when the sun comes up sure levels the playin’ field.

Jason: Maybe it’s ‘cause they don’t wanna get recognized.

Jason: Their stripping vampires in the sun, melting them like marshmallows.

Andy: No, the President of the United States is not actually in Renard Parrish shooting and kidnapping people.

Jason: If this dragon has turned on Hoyt, I ain’t never gonna forgive myself for a long, long time.

Andy: Don’t be too hard on yourself, you use your dick for a compass, me, I’m just a bad cop.

Andy: We assaulted a prisoner today, now Jo Bob is a son of a bitch, but it is my job to protect son of a bitches, too and vampyrs and shifters, were chickens, and  whatever the hell else is out there.

Bud: All the law ever gave me was cancer, a sexless marriage and cancer in my ass.

Eric: It must be peaceful to be so sure of something no room for doubt or remorse.

Nora: Faith isn’t magic, anyone can do it.

Eric: Yes, but it requires surrendering; I’ve never been a fan of that.

Nora: Still such a fucking Viking, even after all these years.

Nora: Believing in something other than yourself doesn’t make you weak Eric, even the tallest tree knows it’s existence depends on the soil between its roots and the sun and the rain upon it’s branches.

Eric: I don’t want to fight you, I want to believe.

Sweety Des Artes: We’re making a political statement, ass for brains. The world’s gone to the pigs, so we’re feeding the sups to the pigs. Get it!

Sweety Des Artes: Toss her in there, give those porky’s something to chew on.

Bud: Humans Rule!

Sookie to Sam: Were you a pig or did I dream that?

Iraqi Woman: Blood has been paid with Blood.

Pam: Number 1, there’s no feeding on humans in Fangtasia, number fucking 2, get outta my maker’s thrown before I stake you all over it.

Elijah: Everybody, grab a human, drinks are on me.

Sookie: I’ll be fine just as soon as I wash the pig out of my hair.

Steve Newlin: My father was allergic to everything except God.

Russell: Stick with me darlin’ and I’ll give you the world.

Russell: The smarter the creature, the more discipline it needs.

Russell: Did you think my blood was free? You silly, silly dog.

Eric: You fucking traitor

Bill: I’m doing this for you, you’ve been chosen by Lilith, this is what God wants.


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