How this man changed over the past five years and became distant, cold, and emotionless. Was it the last trip overseas that caused him to change? He would never talk about it so I don’t know exactly what happened. All I know at this very moment is I am devastated. I am confused. And I can not think or focus on anything other than what the hell am I going to do?
How do you try to salvage a marriage when one spouse wants out.
Matthew point-blank told me “I love you but I don’t think I’m in love with you.”
“You don’t think? How does one not think? You either love me or you don’t! There is no between here!”
Matthew looked at me with ice-cold eyes “We haven’t been a couple for quite some time now.”
“What the f*** do you mean? Here I am thinking that things are fine, you are just tired from your job! Is there someone else?”
“No, there’s no one else.” he says.
That statement will forever replay in my head as I was soon going to find out he completely lied to my face. There was someone else and I was soon to find that out!
“What am I suppose to do?! I can’t afford this house? Can you? How will I find a rental that will allow my dog? You know how hard it is to find a home when you have a pit bull?! I can not lose my boy! It would devastate him! I will devastate me! No one will adopt him! You know his issues!”
He stares at me with such a blank unconcerned face. I am hysterical in crying trying to figure out how I can keep the only thing I love in this life, my dog. I can not and will not give him up. He’s all I have left!
Matthew speaks up as he sees I’m uncontrollable crying and trembling at the events unfolding “I will do my best to help you find a place for both of you.”
“Your best?! Your best isn’t good enough! You have just turned my life entirely upside down! And now you are going to give me your best?!”
Blank stares ensued from Matthew like he just didn’t anticipate this reaction from me. How dare he be so selfish to think I would take it lightly!
The more and more I cried, I hugged on my beloved furry baby. He knew something was going on. He is so connected to my emotions. He knows something is going on but yet is unable to understand. My husband’s selfishness is ruining my world and my furry companion as well.
That night I could not bear to be in the same bed as him. I slept on my uncomfortable couch for the next couple nights. How dare him ask me why I was sleeping on the couch? Did he just not go through the entire breakup that I did too?
I was so distraught that I called out sick from work. I lied in bed as long as my dog would allow me to. I spent the day in my pajama’s, no shower. I just couldn’t think straight! A total depression had consumed me and my thoughts! I need to know something though. I need to know if there is someone else!
I began snooping. First his laptop. Just looking for signs of something I was missing! Something that would tell me there was someone else. Next I check his cellphone when I had a chance, looking again signs of another woman. I checked our phone records for unknown numbers and credit card statements. Just looking for anything I didn’t recognize and something out of the norm.
To my surprise, I found exactly what I was looking for. This man I loved, worshipped, and married was talking, flirting, and making sexual innuendo’s with someone other than myself. Enraged at my findings and the fact he was lying directly to my face, I knew I had to find out more. “
The more facts I could find, the more it would ease my mind” I told myself.
Little did I know, the more I found out, the more I wish I had not found. My world continued to crumble around me. My heart ripped right out of my chest. Total Devastation.
~~ Betrayed | Devastation
~~Betrayed | “Get Out”
Feature Image courtesy of Ohomega1982/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”
