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Asheville Man Waiting to Turn Left into Trader Joe’s Has No Idea How Much Driver Behind Him Wants to Kill Him

Posted on the 27 September 2013 by Citizenthymes @citizenthymes

ASHEVILLE- Even though there is a steady stream of oncoming traffic on Merrimon Avenue, Joe Mason, who is waiting to turn left into Trader Joe’s parking lot, is patient.


After all Mason has been waiting over six years for Asheville to get a Trader Joe’s and what is waiting an extra 15 minutes in traffic listening to The Dead in his 1992 Ford Fiesta going to hurt.


However, Mason is completely oblivious to the fact that the driver behind him, Kyle Raney is only moments away from shoving Mason’s Co-exist bumper sticker up Mason’s ass.


“You got to be shitting me,” screamed Raney as he slapped the steering wheel of his 2006 Subaru.


“Let’s go hippie. My mom was right these hipster shits are taking over this goddamn town.”


Mason inches forward and considers going for it as there is a sudden clearing of traffic, but decides not to risk it because sometimes his Fiesta stalls when pressured to accelerate too fast.


“Go! Are you fricking kidding me?” said Raney as he slams his head back into his headrest and throws his arms up in the air.


“I don’t have time for this shit. I hope your raw organic almonds have salmonella!”


After 10 minutes Mason gives up on the idea of turning left into Trader Joe’s and instead chooses to pull forward and attempt to make a U-turn further down Merrimon Avenue.


Raney pulls to the side of Mason and stares at him the whole time while passing him and mouths to Mason, ‘Really?’ and then for good measure flips Mason the bird to make sure Mason knows where he stands with a complete and total stranger.


Raney spends the rest of the day trying to explain to his yoga clients why his schedule is off 15 minutes for the day.

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