This isn't a neutral or happy post... it's an introspective and reflective one. So, if you'd rather not read about feelings, emotions, and mistakes... please skip this post. Thanks! :)
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I'm usually a quiet person... because I'm also a very passionate person. I contain all of my emotions and maintain as much composure as possible. But, every once in a while, I slip... and some of my passion (whether it's anger, happiness, frustration, or joy) gets let out. There's usually a moment of embarrassment, or pain, or regret. Then... I become quiet again. I become contained.
For example, if I become excited about something, I get all bubbly I feel like all of my molecules are just vibrating with this excitement... I get hyperactive and talk a lot, and really fast. I smile too hard and squeal too much. And this excitement might cause me to drop something out of clumsiness (and maybe even break it), or I talk over people (and become rude), or I become to loud (and annoy people). I'm usually alone in my excitement, to boot... so then I struggle to contain myself again and maintain my composure.
If I become frustrated and upset and stressed out over something that is someone's fault, I might end up blabbing names as an example, or to say... hey, I'm not the only one. Usually I'm very good at censoring my examples and sources -- "Hey, there is a person who..." but sometimes, in my aching need to get my point across and make my example more impacting, I might say a person's name. As soon as it's uttered, my mind screams at me "What are you DOING?! Take it back!" But it's too late. Once uttered, things cannot be taken back. After that (and it usually didn't get my point across, anyway), I shut down again. Don't talk to people. Don't tell them how you feel. Don't let people know what's really going on inside of you, because you're just going to hurt someone in the process. Keep it to yourself... contain & maintain.
Can you relate?
