Lifestyle Magazine

Another Rage Rant On How The Human Race Is Annoying Me And Driving Me Over A Cliff Like Thelma & Louise

By Midlifemargaritas @mdlifemargarita

Please don’t call 911 on me. This is just my usual rant on how the Human Race is insane in the membrane STILL. I think we are all tired of the left, right, middle, political, social issues and the mindlessness in our world right now. Some of us are either having a nervous breakdown or becoming homicidal. Trigger: This is all humor. May not be your thing and if you don’t have a sense of humor with a side of dark terror, you may want to scroll to another website. I’m not here to offer apologies or consider your feelings. Unless it makes you at least chuckle. If you are down with it, read on my friends.

Can we start with the big tanker blocking the Suez Canal? Apparently no one has played Jenga (game) to learn the life skills of moving a huge boat out of the middle of a huge canal? Did you see the tiny little bulldozer they put out there the other day? What was that gonna do? Was that just for a photo opportunity to show how stupid the world is becoming? It’s 2021 and we can’t figure this out? We are screwed.

Next Up on the ‘pain in my ass’ list of topics is SpongeBob. Yes you read that right. Apparently TV is doing the cancel culture thing on a few of his episodes. WHY? There was an episode on Mr. Krabs having a midlife crisis. He and the SpongeBob gang (Patrick) decide to have a night on the town trying to rediscover Mr. Krabs youth. They end up getting sea faced and going on a “panty raid”. Turns out they were in Mr. Krabs moms house and they stole her big bloomers!

It’s a fun little chuckle. So why the cancel? Because Panties? Please tell me how in the ever loving hell are the Simpsons, Futurama and South Park still on TV? Or Bob’s Burgers and Family Guy? Are there just that many unhappy people who feel the need to rain on everyone’s parade these days? Cancel Culture. For. The. Love.

The last item of annoyance on my rant list today is a bumper sticker. Any parent who puts a sticker on the car that says “Be patient, student Driver” is setting their child up to be bullied for life. Who could possibly drive under that kind of pressure knowing everyone sees that sticker and knows. They know. Most of the time when I pass a car with this sticker, it’s an adult driving it. Next you’ll see student drivers with helmets and pads on. That won’t be embarrassing.

I know it’s a short list but I don’t want to sound like a bitter old bat. I actually feel a little better getting that off my chest. Can I still say chest or is that on the cancel list?

Maybe next week we will see some more positive things going on. You know, smart humans doing things that make sense. Or maybe not. Stay tuned. Here’s your fun video for the week:

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