If you haven’t watched the first season of Orange is the New Black during the year since it came out, then shame on you.
You’ve got only a few hours to catch up before the new season. Go. Now. For the rest of us who are counting the minutes, it’s time t0 list out some reasons why we’re pumped up.
#1 – Piper’s Repercussions
Obviously Piper is in the shit. The long term problem’s with Larry and Alex will be addressed over the course of the second season, but straight up we need to know what penalty is in store for the vicious beating she laid down on Pennsatucky. Yes, it was self-defence and yes she was hung to dry by Healey but that looked brutal. Obviously SHU is on the books, maybe even Psych, but there’s the question of further sentencing. She was locked up for 15 months, a clear end in sight…how long is Piper going to be behind bars and how will it effect her state of mind?
#2 – Red vs Porn ‘stache
A rivalry between the cocky guard Mendez (Porn ‘stache to the prisoners) and the tough as nails chef Red has been growing. As they compete to control the contraband channels going in and out of the prison things have become more and more heated. Red has the influence over the prisoners, and the moxy of Russian mosbster. Mendez as the power to control their lives. As they back each other further into a corner the increased likelihood that one of them with lash out.
#3 – Healy Should Get Stabbed
Over the past week we’ve been rewatching the first season and reloving every moment of it. When we first saw it we initially though Healy was a doofy old fart with a hang up about lesbians. Later in the season he revealed his true colours as a repressed, angry and bitter woman hater.
This week though…he’s different. He’s not a fictional character – he’s the embodiment of the Men’s Rights Activist attitude. His behaviour could have been lifted from Elliot Rodgers rant about why women must be punished. Healy is an avatar for the entire subculture, and I want to see one of the women in the show fucking shank him. Preferably Vause.
#4 – Taystee and Poussey
We remember the big moments on the show, such as Piper going to SHU and Crazy Eyes revealing her real character. Linking these moments together was the banter between the characters. These are some of the best written people on television, and the dynamic between them is awesome. Taystee and Poussey are among the most interesting, discussing the world of the prison and how their life now revolves around it.
#5 – Alex and Nichols
Much of the first season revolved around the Piper/Larry/Alex triangle, but alongside that was a great friendship growing between Vause and Nichols. Unlike many of the friendships that were already in place when the story began we saw how these two grew closer together and shared their pasts. How far will things go between them? This is a friendship we want to see play out because it feels genuine.
#6 – Will Anyone Get Out?
Needless to say many of the characters have a limited time on the show…eventually some of them will finish their sentences. Taystee got a release in the first season but wound up back inside shortly thereafter. It’s never good to see a great character leave a great show, but it would be good to see some of these ladies get their redemption.
Basically…FREE YOGA JONES. When she tells that story it breaks my heart.
#7 – The Mysterious Warden
Let’s talk about Fringe for a moment. During the first season we kept hearing about Dr. William Bell. There was a huge about of build up to the reveal of that character…and when Leonard Nimoy stepped out off the shadows it was the perfect person to play the role and a great pay off.
The Warden in Orange is the New Black is in the same boat. He’s an all powerful figure who influences the fictional world from behind the curtain. Information on the Warden has been sparse, but even the hard-nosed CO’s get edgy when he’s mentioned. I don’t know if they’ll be revealed, but if they are I hope the casting is good.
