Dating Magazine

5 Things I Don’t Want My Husband To Find Out From Our Joint Account

By Offriesandmen @offriesandmen

5 Things I Don’t Want My Husband To Find Out From Our Joint Account

Every long term relationship comes to a point where finances are discussed. Whether it be separate accounts, joint accounts, or a combination – each have their own pros and cons that couples must weigh up, and hopefully reach a mutual agreement.

I’ve never had a joint account, so when my husband and I had the ‘money talk’, I was horrified by the thought of having a shared account. The reason? I think how a person spends money says a lot about them, and the idea of the man I love knowing each and every detail of when, where, how, and what I spend money on… well it kinda freaked me out!

Here are five things I don’t want my husband to find out from our joint account:

How many books I buy 

When we were still dating and my husband came over, my bookshelf was something I proudly showed off to him. Look at me, look at how cultured, educated, socially aware, and intellectual I am.

Now that we are married, I think it’s starting to dawn on him that his wife spends more time buying books than reading them.

I just can’t help myself! I go online to buy a book, and as I make my purchase I see ‘If you like this book, you’ll also like X’. I click to see X, and the next thing I know I’m buying X, Y, Z. I’m saving on the shipping costs, I say to myself.

All these books, and the most cultured things I say to my husband comes from Facebook and goes something like ‘Baby! Check out this new type of pizza that has another pizza on top of it!’

How much I spend to ‘look beautiful’ 

Ladies, I know you feel me. We spend tons of money to look the way we look! I pay to get my hair, nails, eye brows done. Plus all the products required for my hair, face, and body. I mean, there’s a pre-moisturiser that you apply before your actual moisturiser, and a leave-on conditioner that goes after the conditioner. And all the oils. So. Many. Oils.

On top of that, I pay for two gym memberships AND those online shopping ads get me every time! My recent purchase was a silicone cup thingy that’s meant to get rid of cellulite. Try explaining that to your partner when he asks what you’ve just bought!

I’d love for my husband to think I look the way I look ‘effortlessly’. That I just wake up this way. But he could take one look at our joint account that easily realize this is not the case.

Then how I ‘trash’ the above with my impulse chocolate purchases

I don’t think I need to expand on this. I might be PMSing or it’s one of those afternoons that require a pick-me-up.

While I can get rid of the wrapper, the words ‘Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups’ will forever be imprinted on our joint account.

How lazy I am 

With two gym memberships, you’d think I was fit enough to be training for the Olympics. Well, what you’d find on our joint account is the countless times that I’ve ordered an Uber to avoid a 7-minute walk.

How much coffee I consume

I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I was able to give up coffee for a couple of years. It seems those glory days are behind me, and I have ventured back to the dark side.

I’m not proud to have $4 show up every day on our joint account as evidence of addiction.

So that’s my list of shame.

What’s on your list?


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