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3 Reasons Your College Couch May Be More Trustworthy Than Your Bank

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Fox News reports several college students in New York found $40,000 in a couch they bought for $20 from the Salvation Army.

They found the money after investigating why the couch was so “uncomfortable.” We’re glad to hear the answer was money and not buried drugs and crime scene weapons.

And then they found a “deposit slip” in the couch, with the name of a 91 year-old-woman on it, who put the money there because she did not trust banks. But she did trust her children, who donated the couch to charity while she was in the hospital with a broken hip.

So the college students returned the money, and were given a $1,000 reward. Which they can use to advance their college education, reading about:

3 Reasons Your College Couch May Be More Trustworthy Than Your Bank

1. Your couch doesn’t earn $1.79 million per year plus bonuses like JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon. It does earn spare change that falls out of your guests’ pockets. And if you are three New York college kids, it earns $1,000 rewards. Try earning either of those in interest in a bank checking account!

2. The only government bailout your couch required was when the police forced a rival frat to return your couch after they reassembled your entire living room on the New York City High Line. Which is too bad, because if your couch was still there, you might have had a great view of some of the antics JAY-Z and Solange got into at the neighboring Standard Hotel.

3. Your couch has never been to jail. But neither have any bankers involved in the 2008 financial crisis. On second thought, if you got your couch at a thrift store, can you be sure that it’s never been to jail? That said, if your couch has been to jail, the worst offenses it could have committed are loitering or trespassing, right? So, while your couch may have been to jail, it never took down a global economy getting there.


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