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3 New Slogans We Propose For Volkswagen Brands In Light Of 2nd Emission Potential Scandal

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Global News reports that the U.S. EPA has stated that more Volkswagen vehicles, including Porsches and Audis contained software allegedly designed to deceive emission tests.

Since we are all about helping corporations, here are 3 new slogans we propose for the affected companies.

  1. “Volkswagen: our engineering is so good we can trick emission testers into thinking our cars are emitting 1960s folk music instead of harmful carbon dioxide.  In fairness, anyone singing folk music is emitting carbon dioxide, so it is true.”
  2. “Audi: The Lowest Emissions Of Any Virtual Vehicle You Can Select In A Video Game That Yells ‘Choose Your Car!'”
  3. “Porsche: The Best Fuel Economy In Its Class (Its Class Is Vehicles Driven By Jerks).”

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