Life Coach Magazine

10+ Reasons Why I Don’t Go to the Movies Anymore

By Bren @Virtual_Bren

10 Plus Reasons Why I Dont Go To The Movies Anymore

For the past month, my Facebook feed has been full of images and talk of the new Star Wars movie. What’s it called again? Seriously, you’d think they were talking about The Walking Dead with all the hype, which I’d totally get by the way! However, the talk involves Stormtroopers, Chewbacca, Hans Solo, and Darth Vader. I just don’t get it!

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I don’t dislike Star Wars. I watched the original and the 2nd one. Chewy and Hans Solo were my favorite characters. But 30 some years later, I’m just not feeling it.

I wouldn’t camp out for any movie

People camped outside of movie theaters waiting to get in to see this movie. Honestly, if Clint Eastwood isn’t in it, I’m not paying for it!

Do you remember when the craze was all about Fifty Shades of Grey Poorly Written lines and Bad acting? Yes, I swore I wouldn’t read the book and I’d be damn if I was going to pay to see the movie! However, I did wait for it to hit my Xfinity Premium Channels and watched it one late night when there was nothing better on.

I was disappointed. Good damn thing I didn’t pay for it!

I haven’t been in a movie theater since

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. Yes, I was one of those, however, I went with a group of girlies from high school. It was more of a reunion thing, not a movie theater thing. The theater was gross, loud, and had sticky floors. Totally disgusted me other than the handsome sparkling vampires on the screen.

I dealt with it, however………..I won’t go again!


10+ Reasons I won’t go to the movies again

It’s too damn expensive!

When I was young, we could go to the movies for under $10 easily. Ticket price was $1 or $2. How much is it now? When I went in 2012, I think I dropped $30 on the ticket, a drink, and popcorn! Ridiculous!

The floors in the theater are covered with God knows what!

Before even going to the movies, you have to think about what shoes you are going to wear that you wouldn’t mind throwing out in the trash for fear of what wretched germs you would drag into your car or home. What the hell is that sticky crap on the floor?

The seats are uncomfortable!

I don’t care what anyone says, the seats suck! You can’t recline them back. They aren’t wide enough. There are no footrests. By the way, where the hell is my blanket and pillow?

10 Reasons

Thousands of nasty heads and bums have rested, squirmed, and farted in those chairs!

Not only do the chairs suck, think about the previous 1,500 people that sat in that chair before you! You sit back exposing not only your clothes to whatever cooties the previous “seatants” had, but you lean your head back onto the chair and into someone’s dandruff, lice, or something even worse!

Ignorant people talking on cells or to one another!

Why must people be so loud! I can understand laughing at the movie. I get that. But holding a conversation about a previous date night or arguing is simply unacceptable! You might even be afraid to say “Shhh” or “Please be quiet” for fear they may whip out a knife and gut you like a pig!

No pee breaks!

This is majorly important for the “Over 40” crowd! I don’t know about you, but regardless of how big or small of a drink I get, I’m going to need to PEE during the movie! Do you remember Intermission at the Drive-In movie? Why the hell isn’t there an Intermission at the theaters?

Instead, you have to interrupt people by walking in front of them and saying half a dozen or so “Excuse me”‘s. You miss at least 10 or more minutes of the movie between the walk time to and from the bathroom PLUS if you have to wait in line!

Let’s not even mention how disgustingly germified the bathrooms are!

No waitresses or waiters to serve your needs!

You ever at the movies and get popcorn or a Goober stuck in your throat? You exhaust any drink that you already had bought. You’re coughing up a storm and people are yelling for you to shut up. You really could use a drink, but you can’t even get up to go get one because you’ll pee yourself! Where are the waitresses? Waiter?

The disgusting stench of body odor, bad breath, flatulence, urine, sex!

Have you ever noticed what a movie theater smells like? Some have the scent thingy’s, like a plugin, to try and camouflage the smell, however, it doesn’t work. People don’t always shower before going to the movies, or brush their teeth at that. What about the folks that get their “booze on” before coming. They reek of beer, sausages, and whatever else. That beer can bring on burps and farts. OMG! Are you feeling me here? What about those who decide to bring a bottle or container with them so they don’t miss the movie by taking a pee break? And if you try to sit in the back row, BE FORWARNED! It’s guaranteed that someone has had sex in that seat, whether it be oral, fingered, or ride ’em cowboy!

No pee breaks!

Again, please see above. This is very important! Intermission, please!

People walking in front of you blocking your view!

This also goes along with the pee breaks however, I’d rather have an Intermission so that your fat a** doesn’t block my view of the movie!


Think about it. You don’t know when the last time that popcorn or soda machine was cleaned out. Does the candy you picked out of the case have an expiration date on it? With the theater being so dark, how would you even know if there were mouse turds in your butter popcorn? Oh, no thank you!

People or children kicking the back of your seat!

It’s inevitable! People who are getting seated behind you will knock you in the back of the head as their wideness walks behind you. Then you have the kids or adults who so rudely put their feet up on the back of the seat or the swingers who kick the seat! So irritating, no?

The thought of a terrorist or other cray totally screwing up your movie that you paid big bucks for!

Lastly, oh seriously I could go on more, but this is the scary one for me. With as cray as some people are now, I don’t trust anyone to not come into the theater and try to ruin it for me. The thought is terrifying!

I’ll catch the movies at Casa Bren

With taking all of the above into play, I am perfectly content sitting at home on my couch in my jammies hitting pause on my OnDemand movie that I paid $5 for when I need to pee. Not to mention, I can drink whatever I want, how much I want, and eat whatever I want without missing a lick of the movie. Did I mention, I don’t have to worry about what fool sat in my seat last because it was one of 3 other members in my house. The only smells may be the flatulence of my hubs or 2 furkids and possibly a heiney rub on the couch cover.

The thought of sitting in front of my tv watching a movie absolutely naked under a blanket with my pillow is refreshing to me. Did I mention the PAUSE button that I can use whenever I feel the need to get up for something, including a pee break?

There isn’t anything out there that won’t hit tv

And that I can’t wait to see OnDemand on Xfinity, HBO, Cinemax, Starz, Showtime,  Amazon Prime, Netflix or even a bootleg borrowed version. Shhh….

You’re just NOT going to catch me in a movie theater anymore!

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What do you think?

Do you have reservations about going to the movies? Can you relate to my list of gripes and fears? Are they others that I may have left out?


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