It’s halftime and the Chargers are down 14-7. You’re six beers deep and in desperate need of some real, manly nutrition to offset those hunger pangs. But you’ve only got 15 minutes. So you leap off the couch and make a dash for the kitchen, weaving between tattered copies of Esquire and empty cans of Coors Light with running-back precision. Just as you’re about to perform your signature end zone routine, you realize something important – that you haven’t been grocery shopping in over two weeks, and that your epic touchdown is about to be called back to the 50 yard line.
This happened to me last week, minus the football and the Coors Light. (Sorry Rivers, but I’ve completely and wholeheartedly given up on you). I was starving on a Sunday afternoon with nothing to show for it except a sorry bag of random produce. Tomatoes, onion, avocado, and a large phallic object covered in wiry brown hair. Hungry and confused, I tried to remember what the hell this thing was and why I bought it in the first place. It must have sat in that bag for at least 2 weeks – probably longer – before I ever acknowledged its existence.
I was staring at a yucca root. The odd-looking bulb of a shrub from South America, used extensively in native culture but virtually unidentifiable in the modern world. Also known as cassava, the yucca’s white, starchy flesh is typically served boiled, steamed, or used as a thickener in cakes and pastries. It has both antioxidant and anti-arthritic properties, and has played a central role in the diets of Central and South America since, like, forever.
But I was craving tortilla chips, not boiled mush. So I threw caution to the wind and starting slicing my root paper-thin. Ten minutes and two burnt fingers later, I had a bowl of something weird that tasted pretty damn good. Crunchy like a tortilla chip, but thicker and more filling. I paired my yucca chips with a bowl of tequila-infused guacamole to take the edge off my Sunday hangover. I recommend you do the same.
Yucca Chips
1 yucca (cassava) root
1 cup vegetable oil
1 lime
sea salt
black pepper
Directions: Slice the root thinly (1/8 inch slices). Heat the oil until very hot. Fry the slices for 2-3 minutes, then remove and pat dry with a paper towel. Toss with salt, pepper, and a generous squeeze of lime.
Tequila-Infused Guacamole
4 ripe avocados
1 large tomato
1/2 red onion
1 serrano chili
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
1 shot tequila
juice of 2 limes
sea salt
black pepper
Directions: Dice the tomato, red onion, and serrano chili. Combine in a large bowl and add avocado meat, paprika, tequila, and lime. Mix until smooth, adding salt and pepper to taste.
